Eugene Levy, Jason Biggs, Alysson Hannigan, and someone else have signed on for American Pie 3. Normally this would not warrant a thread, but I have to pose the question:
Here's what I imagine the people who signed on had to say:
Levy: "I was huge once. Well, I coulda been. I was on SCTV! But Moranis and Candy, they took the glory! This is my one big hit, and, brother, I'm milking it for all it's worth!"
Biggs: "I'm so typecast, I'll never have a career. Might as well get money for bus fare."
Hannigan: "Wooooooo, pretty caterpillar! I ate a cheese doodle once, and it said to me, 'Alysson, baby, you need to focus on the hypotenuse.' I didn't know what that meant, so I hailed a cab and mooned the driver."
Other Guy: "Hey, you don't even remember who I am, so I don't have to talk to you, jerk."
But in all seriousness, WHY?