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  1. #1
    Registered good shot jansen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    fort lauderdale/hollywood fl

    lines that were cut from the movie?

    in continuing, what was always one of the funniest sections in the old forums, it's time to begin a new!

    Luke: look at all the bodies here, i wonder how this happened.

    c3po: victims identified as jawas. Female and male.

    r2d2: brrrpp ring deeedle doop doop.

    c3po: r2 lists the cause as a Probable boating accident.

    luke: why would jawas want to go boating in the dune seas? there isn't any water for miles!.

    obi-wan: (examining one of the jawas) The height and weight of the victim can only be estimated from the partial remains. The torso has been severed in mid-thorax. There are no major organs remaining. (pausing, looks over at r2), May I have a glass of blue milk please? (continuing with the examination), Right arm has been severed, above the elbow with massive tissue loss in the upper musculature. (r2 produces a glass of blue milk from a hatch inside his dome) Thank you very much. (continuing with the body)Partially denuded bone remaining, (looks angily at luke), this was no boat accident. Are you going to notify the republic about this?

    Luke: No. jawas get killed all the time, and besides i was on my way into toshe station to pick up some power converters.

    obi-wan: (annoyed, returning to the exam), The left arm, head to shoulders, sternum and portions of the rib cage are intact. (luke puts a cigarette up to his mouth, and begins to fumble with some matches) (Ben points at hin angrily) Do not smoke here! Thank you very much. So this is what happens. Indicates the non-frenzy savagry of a large trooperus possibly sithius ledus or palpatinus directus. Now, the enormous amount of tissue loss prevents
    any detailed analysis however the attacking squadus must be considerably more accurate than any normal tuskinas found in these waterless seas. Didn't you get on the
    holophone to check out these dunes?

    Luke: uh No, like i said, i was on my way into tosh.......

    obi-wan: (cutting luke off abruptly) Well this is not a boat accident! It wasn't any tuskan raiders! It wasn't any bounty hunters! And it wasn't Jack the Ripper! It was imperial storm troopers!

    0 /// /// F=MA~~~~~~~~~~~~
    what's so funny 'bout peace love and understanding

  2. #2

    Luke: (upon seeing the dead bodies of Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru) D'oh!


    Han: (upon crashing into the remains of Alderaan) D'oh!


    Darth Vader: (upon getting struck by wingman in the trench) D'oh!


    Luke (upon crashing into the snow plain) D'oh!


    Luke (upon crashing into the swamp) D'oh!


    Luke (upon discovering Vader's true identity) D'ohhhh!!!!


    Leia: (upon discovering Luke is her brother) D'oh!


    Lando: (upon the removal of the Falcon's radar dish) D'oh! I shouldn't have had that 8th Colt .45! I'm an IDIOT!!!


    Han, Leia, Lando, Luke: (upon arriving at the Ewok village and discovering the party and hearing the "Muppet Show" celebration song) D'oh!!!

    ...thankfully this line was eventually used in The Phantom Menace when the battledroid was thrown back by the force-push.

  3. #3
    Senator Bel-Cam Jos's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Where "text" & "friend" are (n) & "fail" is (v)
    The 1970s Special Edition of ANH:
    Vader: "Where are the 8 tracs you intercepted?"
    Officer: "Mellow out, man! We're just having a nice day."
    Vader: "If this is a commune, then where is the maharasha?"

    The late 1970s Special Edition of ESB:
    Leia: "Wait. Listen."
    Sound on speaker: "... can you... drums... Fernando..."
    Threepio: "That song's everywhere these days."
    Han: "I'm goin' out to shoot it. It's a good chance disco knows we're here to stay."

    The early 1980s Special Edition of ROJ:
    Han: "What're they saying?"
    Threepio: "I'm a bit embarassed, Captain Solo, but I believe they think I'm some sort of Freakazoid."
    Han: "Then why don't you use your tubular poppin' and do The Worm to get us out of here?"

    Those were all bad, sorry...
    Too late; I already copyrighted these parodies: Rogue Juan, Rogue Won, Rogue Huan, Rogue Wan, Rogue Obi-Wan, Rouge One, Rogue Wand.

  4. #4
    Nice to see I inspired someone with the "d'oh!" post in the old forums.

    Luke: She's beautiful. . . . And she's rich.
    Han: You don't have to be rich to be my girl. You don't have to be cool to rule my world.
    That's my jacket!

  5. #5
    El Chuxter... thank you for the inspiration... I just had to put that back up on this one...

    "D'oh!"- an all-time classic line!!!

    I suppose in THE PHANTOM MENACE there could have been another SIMPSONS line inserted here...

    Republic Ship approaches Naboo...

    Officer 1: "We are approaching the Trade Federation Command Vessel."

    Obi-Wan: "Ooohhh... jelly doughnuts...!"

    Qui-Gon: "Tell the the Viceroy we would like to board immediately... and they look more like those powdered CAKE doughnuts."

    Obi-Wan: "D'oh!"

  6. #6
    Senator Bel-Cam Jos's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Where "text" & "friend" are (n) & "fail" is (v)

    Arrow "What with the spoofing and the joking, hee-ya-ha"

    Looks like we might need an SE - Simpsons Edition to this thread!
    Threepio: "Listen to them, Artoo! They're dying!"
    R2: "Ba-weep ba-doop woop." ("Eh? What're you gonna do?" )

    Vader: "You are free to use any means necessary. No disintegrattions."
    Bossk: "Haw-haw!"

    End celebration after the battle
    (Singing): "Wok-lings! Wok-lings! Fu-ture. Fu-ture."
    Too late; I already copyrighted these parodies: Rogue Juan, Rogue Won, Rogue Huan, Rogue Wan, Rogue Obi-Wan, Rouge One, Rogue Wand.

  7. #7
    the master jedi
    Luke: Leia, will you marry me?

    Leia:What the heck. We've already kissed and who wouldn't like to see a story about space hicks?

  8. #8

    Allright! It's back and it's bad!

    ... in a "good" way.

    Don't badmouth the Muppet Show, it's 1000 times better than the Ewoks and their lame SE song.

    GSJ, what is your's based on? I can't place it, but it seems familiar... it feels like... "Feels like what?" LIKE WE'RE BEING WATCHED! Sorry, a little ESB crept in, but anyway, what's it from?


    "So I told George 'look man, I'm only here till Corvette Summer comes out, then I know they'll need me back for a string of sequels', so I've got that going for me."

    "Quiet on the set, ACTION!"

    "I'm Luke Skywalker, I've got your corvette, I've brought Ben Keno..."

    "CUT! Mark, how many times are you going to make that same mistake?!?"
    Darth Vader is becoming the Mickey Mouse of Star Wars.

    Kylo Ren - came from Space Brooklyn, although he moved to Space Williamsburg before it was trendy.

    The use of a lightsaber does not make one a Jedi, it is the ability to not use it.

  9. #9
    I believe good shot jansen used Richard Dreyfus' monologue from Jaws.

    Outstanding work!

  10. #10
    Corvette Summer - didn't that "film" costar Annie Potts?


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