in continuing, what was always one of the funniest sections in the old forums, it's time to begin a new!
Luke: look at all the bodies here, i wonder how this happened.
c3po: victims identified as jawas. Female and male.
r2d2: brrrpp ring deeedle doop doop.
c3po: r2 lists the cause as a Probable boating accident.
luke: why would jawas want to go boating in the dune seas? there isn't any water for miles!.
obi-wan: (examining one of the jawas) The height and weight of the victim can only be estimated from the partial remains. The torso has been severed in mid-thorax. There are no major organs remaining. (pausing, looks over at r2), May I have a glass of blue milk please? (continuing with the examination), Right arm has been severed, above the elbow with massive tissue loss in the upper musculature. (r2 produces a glass of blue milk from a hatch inside his dome) Thank you very much. (continuing with the body)Partially denuded bone remaining, (looks angily at luke), this was no boat accident. Are you going to notify the republic about this?
Luke: No. jawas get killed all the time, and besides i was on my way into toshe station to pick up some power converters.
obi-wan: (annoyed, returning to the exam), The left arm, head to shoulders, sternum and portions of the rib cage are intact. (luke puts a cigarette up to his mouth, and begins to fumble with some matches) (Ben points at hin angrily) Do not smoke here! Thank you very much. So this is what happens. Indicates the non-frenzy savagry of a large trooperus possibly sithius ledus or palpatinus directus. Now, the enormous amount of tissue loss prevents
any detailed analysis however the attacking squadus must be considerably more accurate than any normal tuskinas found in these waterless seas. Didn't you get on the
holophone to check out these dunes?
Luke: uh No, like i said, i was on my way into tosh.......
obi-wan: (cutting luke off abruptly) Well this is not a boat accident! It wasn't any tuskan raiders! It wasn't any bounty hunters! And it wasn't Jack the Ripper! It was imperial storm troopers!