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  1. #1

    Talking Flatulence Excuses.

    We've all heard it..... "DANG THERM BARKING SPIDERS!!!!!"

    Then I discovered another animal yesterday. The CARPET FROG!!!!

    And while I was hanging with the homies there were a few other obscure animals lurking about.


    THE........

    SOFA SNAKE
    RECLINER ROACH
    CONCRETE CRICKET
    LENOLIUM LEMUER
    TILE TOAD.


    Have you found any obsure creatures lurking about???????
    No matter how I die, even if there is a suicide note; it was murder. Cheers!
    MWHAHAHAHA!

  2. #2
    Blame it on the dog.
    Yo momma. That's right, I said "yo momma".

  3. #3
    So you say the dog has a TALKING TICK problem..........
    hee hee hee hee hee
    No matter how I die, even if there is a suicide note; it was murder. Cheers!
    MWHAHAHAHA!

  4. #4
    I was at work one day, and there were 3 of us sitting around a table, we had just finished a little meeting. Well, one of the guys lets one go. It was loud and kind of sputtered. The other guy goes, "Hey, that sounded like popcorn." This wierd lady that worked in our office was in her cubilce, probably half-listening to the goings on, says, "Ohhh, popcorn! I like popcorn, can I have some?"

    It was funny.





    Get it? She thought the fart was the sound of microwave popcorn.








    I guess you had to be there.






    By the way, that guy that farted is the only person that I ever met that could predict the sound his fart will make. It was truly amazing. Yes, I'm easily amused and like the occasional fart joke, is that so wrong?
    Yo momma. That's right, I said "yo momma".

  5. #5
    One of my kittens actually does get gas from time to time.

    No, seriously! It wasn't me! I swear!
    This announcement has been brought to you by a generous grant from the Ranting Jonna Foundation
    "Helping to improve your life through nonsensical ravings for over 35 years"


  6. #6
    "Oops, trouser cough!" (Not to be confused with the deadly Trouser Snake.)

    "Not bad for a 1/4" speaker."

    "Stepped on a duck!"

    "Oh, listen....Mr. Bumhole doesn't think so, and neither do I."

    "Damned bumhole talking behind my back again. I hate that."

    Wakka wakka......
    GOLDEN DEUCE AWARD WINNER & MABUCON ATTENDEE 2008

  7. #7
    There can be no excuses in the presence of a child. It doesn't matter where you are, when there's a three year old around, anyone's flatulence is subject for full disclosure. Even if you try to avoid it. Example:



    <<flatulence occurs>> (could be you, your kid, the person in line next to you, etc.)

    child: "What was that?"

    you: "Nothing/I don't know"

    child: "No, that was _____, farting!"

    Never fails to elicit laughter/embarassment.
    Postatem obscuri lateris nescitis

  8. #8
    Flatulence is funny. I am forever farting on my 5 year old.

    I have heard it refered to as geese flying south and numerous others that have been mentioned.
    thanks Chux Turbo LBC Bobafrett Mtriv73 Rjarvis JF96 JT JMG FB Rogue2 Tycho Slicker Deoxy Caesar JontheJedi JJReason Brandon Solo JMS UK for great deals.
    SSG Pro Football Pick em and Bowl Pick em Champ 2006. 2007 NCAA Bracket Champ
    #24 - Gone but not forgotten

  9. #9
    Kids are the funniest....no matter WHAT smells bad out in public, my daughter will ALWAYS chime in with "Daddy, your toot's STINKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" complete with the nose plugged and rolling eyes. It's perfect.
    GOLDEN DEUCE AWARD WINNER & MABUCON ATTENDEE 2008

  10. #10
    I don't need to bust out the story of the "fart tape", do I? Emperor Howdy knows exactly what I'm talking about. Surprised not to see him in this thread.
    Postatem obscuri lateris nescitis

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