Well, recently i noticed that i was having trouble seeing stuff clearly. Like having to hold the tv mag up to my face so i could read the print. I always had really good vision, 20:20 apparently with a slight tendency towards short sightedness which i had reading glasses for. But the reading glasses weren't making a difference so off to the opticians i go and get an eye test and discover that i have a stigmatism in my left eye and I'll have to wear glasses on a permanent basis.
Nothing wrong with that is there.
Well, i thought i was okay with it, after all since getting the glasses it's cured my migraine headaches totally. I can now see stuff clearer than i ever could. Crystal clarity is such a blast. But, and there's bound to be a but in a thread like this, I find myself feeling incredibly self conscious of how people percieve me now. I feel like people are staring at me and thinking I'm somehow impaired and faulty goods. That I'm ugly.
All totally irrational notions i know but i feel them all the same. I'm finding this permanent glasses wearer thing a little hard to swallow. My eye glasses are really small because i wanted something that wouldn't stand out, something that was more the size of my eyes and blended in. I would have gone for contact lenses but they're far too expensive and i have a morbid fear of anything going near my eyes. I'm having difficulty with the arms of the glasses because they show in my peripheral vision. It's driving me nuts. These things changed the face that i present to others and i'm not sure I can deal with that.
I was wondering after all that pre-amble whether anyone else had similar problems adjusting if they had to start wearing glasses later in their life. Do people who wear them all the time get the 'ugly' paranoia too? Am i just being insanely paranoid and self obsessive and vain?