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  1. #1

    Job Opening: Sith Apprentice - now hiring

    ++++++++++++++++++++ Funny-Bone ++++++++++++++++++++

    Position Available Immediately
    [Dark Side Consulting Group]:
    Apprentice Sith Lord

    An unexpected position has opened up in the Dark Side Consulting
    Group for an Apprentice Sith Lord. The ideal candidate for this
    position would like galactic travel and possess a complete
    understanding of, and competence with the Force, or demonstrate
    a willingness to learn. Duties include: Performing competitive
    intelligence, hands-on intervention in support of the Sith
    Master's planning initiatives, ability to travel the galaxy
    widely, and operating a variety of laser-powered hand weapons
    and high-powered space/air vehicles. Some slaying of enemies of
    the Dark Side is also required, which may be performed using the
    Force or hand weapons. Qualified applicants would possess good
    communications skills (especially when speaking in menacing
    whispers), and would be action-oriented individuals and risk
    takers. A background in study of the Force (light side or dark)
    is desirable, as would typically be acquired by those with
    advanced degrees or significant course work in Jedi Arts from
    the University of Coruscant.

    Applicants should also be familiar with holographic projection
    equipment, possess a valid galactic pilot's license (for all
    classes of ships), and must show a willingness to give in to
    their hate. A proven track record of using fear and/or Jedi mind
    tricks to control others is also desirable, as is the ability to
    speak several galactic languages. Ideal candidates for this
    position would also have no children or other living relatives
    who are strong in the ways of the Force. (A new hire would be
    given several weeks to meet this requirement.)

    Compensation for this position is commensurate with experience,
    and is extremely competitive for this field. Benefits include a
    generous severance package, a company starship, and a dark-colored
    clothing allowance. The Apprentice Sith Lord reports to and works
    closely with the Sith Master, and experience in such small,
    team-based organizations is vital to the success of the master's
    plans. Discretion is also highly valued, as is the ability to see
    the future before it happens. Applications will be accepted until
    the end of August. Transmit them to jobs@darkside.com.

    ************************************************** ***

    Dark Side CG (tm) is a small and highly-focused organization, founded
    a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Our core values reflect
    the short-term advantages of harnessing hatred for institutional power
    and the long-term desirability of controlling the galaxy. We provide
    direction to our partner organizations through knowledge management,
    incident control and our rapid on-site intervention expertise. Our
    partnered organizations include the Imperial Senate, the Hutt
    Gambling Collective of Tattooine, and many large software companies.

    Dark Side CG (tm) is a wholly owned subsidiary of Microsoft.

    Reprinted from: http://lists.spunge.org/funny-bone/...e/msg00485.html
    BAD Pts Need: R5-C7 lf leg (x2), , R4-P44 right leg BAD Pts Offered For Trade: PM me - I have lots of parts now including BG-J38!. New Kyle Katarn is also available.

  2. #2
    I applied, and I'm prepared to become a target.

    Who else applied?

    I guess you guys who also go for this slot should be aware that it's a lethally competitive position.

    Please post your home and work addresses so I can get back to you if I have something more to offer.
    BAD Pts Need: R5-C7 lf leg (x2), , R4-P44 right leg BAD Pts Offered For Trade: PM me - I have lots of parts now including BG-J38!. New Kyle Katarn is also available.

  3. #3
    Ha ha! I think your response is better than the actual listing, Tycho.

    But the whole thinks reeks of mouse droid fumes to me.
    Tommy, close your eyes.

  4. #4
    That one reminds me of this one that I found a few years ago and saved as a PDF to ensure it would live on...
    Attached Files Attached Files
    [font=verdana]Madness take its toll. Please have exact change[/font]
    [font=verdana]Life's short and hard like a bodybuilding elf... - Blood Hound Gang [/font]
    I'm a trendy tote bag!

  5. #5
    Thats really funny billfremore! I like that they list "kicking ewoks" as a perk.
    "No one helped me so why should I help you?" - College professor circa 1999

    By choosing not to decide you still have made a choice.

    I'm in love with the women of Univision.

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