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  1. #1

    Tim Allen gets hairy for Disney

    Quote Originally Posted by Cinescape Online
    Tim Allen gets hairy for Disney
    HOME IMPROVEMENT star to remake THE SHAGGY DOG
    Dateline: Wednesday, December 17, 2003

    By: PATRICK SAURIOL, News Editor
    Source: Variety

    So Disney has inked comedian Tim Allen to star in a new version of THE SHAGGY DOG, with a July start date in mind. Disney would like Brian Robbins (VARSITY BLUES) to direct Allen and they're waiting for a yes or no.

    According to Variety, the remake will borrow part of the storyline from the sequel THE SHAGGY D.A.. Allen will play a lawyer who is married to his work and doesn't have time for being a family man. Then, when he starts transforming into a sheepdog, Allen's character will learn to become a better father and husband. Aww.

    AND THEN HE GETS NEUTERED! (OK, I made that last part up - but it'd be a helluva comtemporary spin on the original's story, right?)

    After he wraps work on SHAGGY Allen might be ready to leap onboard a third SANTA CLAUSE movie, if the script is ready in time.
    Hear that whirring noise? That's Uncle Walt drilling through his cryogenic storage unit, that's how fast he's spinning! Oh, and what a career former coke dealer Allen has made for himself! First ape man Tim Taylor, now Disney's Daddy Dumbest.
    [FONT=Book Antiqua]"Bring me kittens and puppies to strangle ... I'm fresh out of Imperial officers!"[/FONT]

  2. #2
    Walt Disney died several years before Cryonics became a reality, his body is interred at Forrest Lawn in Glendale, CA. Some day soon, his zombie corpse will rise and hunt down Michael Eisner in an orgy of blood and gore and hairplugs and merchandising.
    Darth Vader is becoming the Mickey Mouse of Star Wars.

    "We named the dog 'Chewbacca'!"
    The use of a lightsaber does not make one a Jedi, it is the ability to not use it.

  3. #3
    Oh God, say it ain't so! The first Santa Clause was great, but the second one made me want to rip apart the DVD and crap on its remains. Bernard became whiny, the reindeers' voices were higher, Punch and Judy just suck, toy Santa was a waste, and every movie starring Spencer Breslin is gonna be poo to some degree. I bet the third one will really, really stink.

    Shaggy Dog might be good, though.

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