The eternal burning questions of comic books

[El Chuxter]

If the Juggernaut, who cannot be stopped, slams headlong into the Blob, who cannot be moved, what happens?

If Gambit, who charges objects with explosive kinetic energy, throws some of his trademark charged cards at Strong Guy, who absorbs kinetic energy and becomes super-strong (and super-big), what happens?

If whatever knows fear burns at the touch of Man-Thing, what happens if he touches Daredevil, the man without fear?

What happens if Galactus tries to eat Unicron?

Whatever happened to Death's Head? Is he hanging out on a distant planet with Sleepwalker and ROM: Spaceknight?

If an issue of NFL Superpro is unread, does it still suck?

[sith_killer_99]

If the Juggernaut, who cannot be stopped, slams headlong into the Blob, who cannot be moved, what happens?

The Blobs belly jiggles like jello!

If Gambit, who charges objects with explosive kinetic energy, throws some of his trademark charged cards at Strong Guy, who absorbs kinetic energy and becomes super-strong (and super-big), what happens?

Strong Guy absorbs the energy.

If whatever knows fear burns at the touch of Man-Thing, what happens if he touches Daredevil, the man without fear?

Nothing, Daredevil knows no fear.

What happens if Galactus tries to eat Unicron?

?

Whatever happened to Death's Head? Is he hanging out on a distant planet with Sleepwalker and ROM: Spaceknight?

?

If an issue of NFL Superpro is unread, does it still suck?

This one is kinda like the Holiday Special, had noone had watched it, it still would have sucked! Besides, someone had to write it, therefore someone had to read it. Hence it would still suck!

Sorry, I never followed Unicron or Death's Head.

[jjreason]

If Juggernaut crashed headlong into blob - the immovable mutant - blob's lack of solidity would absorb some of the force, and would deflect Juggie to one side or the other. Juggy would not be stopped, per se, but I don't think Blob is hard enough to allow Juggy to hit him hard enough to defeat Blob's power. His quasi-liquid state (read: rippling super-fat fatness here) actually facilitates his immovability. If he were steel like Colossus, Juggy might be able to transfer enough force into him to uproot him. Blob wins, though Juggy's big helmet would leave one ugly mark on the Hefty One.

Gambit's energy cards would explode on impact, transferring energy to Big Guy and allowing him to express his power. Important factor to consider: it won't matter how big Big Guy gets - he'll never stop being ridiculous.

I concur with SK99, if Man-Thing touches DD nothing will happen. What about Man-Thing and Ghost Rider though?

Galactus would probably really enjoy Unicron, as much of it's energy is likely some form of electricity and thus readily digestible. Makes me wonder exactly what the function of the Heralds is if they can't find a lovely snack like Unicron for their boss.

Death's Head is lying in wait for the next unsuspecting Marvel Tryout winner, who will be tasked (likely within the next year or so) with trying to make this character "cool" again for a four issue limited series. That way Joe Q and the House of Ideas won't lose the rights to the name or character design.

If an issue of NFL Superpro goes unread - it still has to sit on the shelf and take up space, leading many prospective first time comic buyers to exclaim "How stupid is that?" and leave the store shaking their heads. It still sucks - out loud.

Here are a few of my own:

Why don't the guys Wonder Woman used to tie up on TV ever look happy or excited? Linda Carter was HOT!

Why was the Hulk "David" Banner on TV? What's wrong with the name Bruce?

Why won't Kevin Smith and J Michael Stracynski finish their long-suspended limited series (respectively "Rising Stars", "Spider-Man/Black Cat" and "Daredevil/Bullseye")?

And last but not least: is it true that DC stands for "Dumb Comics", or is it really "Dumb Costumes"? "Dumb Characters"? Help me out here.

[CaptainSolo1138]

Why was the Hulk "David" Banner on TV? What's wrong with the name Bruce?

Because (and I wouldn't make this up, seriously) it sounded gay, or a synonym thereof.

[gsr-jedi]

Well, JMS finally finished Rising Stars this week, and Kevin Smith may be the Blob, so he can't move, therefore he can't finish the stories he started like 2 years ago since he can't move to a computer. Either that or he's too busy doing sketches for the Tonight Show.