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  1. #1

    An open letter to Tom Cruise

    Dear Mr Cruise,

    I am getting really tired of seeing your ugly mug everywhere. I would appreciate it if you acted more like other celebrities and tried to shy away from the papparazzi.

    I know that you are clinically insane, but this in no way excuses the ridiculous shenanigans you have been performing every chance you have over the past month. I have seen more of you and your stupid little fling with that dumb girl from that teenybopper show in the past month than I did of the Michael Jackson trial, and it must stop.

    You have apparently brainwashed Katie Holmes into believing that personal hygiene is her lowest priority, and, well, it's pretty gross. I realize that you dumped Nicole Kidman, one of the loveliest women who ever lived, for the fugly Penelope Cruz, so there is obviously no accounting for your taste. But seriously, man, she used to be cute and now the sight of her makes me wretch.

    I firmly believe it would have been much funnier in the far too publicized recent incident in London if someone had dumped a truckload of cow manure on your head instead of squirting you with water, you dumb crybaby.

    I still respect your talent as an actor and you have not yet reached the point where I will avoid a movie because of your appearing in it. But you are rapidly approaching the point where I would choose Carrot Top vs the Teletubbies over any film in which you star, even if it were a seventh Star Wars film.

    Thank you for your consideration,
    E Chuxter, Esq.

    PS: You're a dork.
    Tommy, close your eyes.

  2. #2

    Re: An open letter to Tom Cruise

    LMAO!!!!!!

    What ever did happen to Katie Holmes, she fell off the charts super quick, she is a bit on the fugly side now.

  3. #3

    Re: An open letter to Tom Cruise

    Quote Originally Posted by El Chuxter
    Dear Mr Cruise,



    PS: You're a dork.
    Watch it, Bub. Cocktail rules.
    GOLDEN DEUCE AWARD WINNER & MABUCON ATTENDEE 2008

  4. #4

    Re: An open letter to Tom Cruise

    Kelly Lynch rules.

    Tom Cruise is all into Scientology. That is why he is going insane.
    Peeps who have hooked me up: General Grievous Dark Marble jjreason Ramy GrandMoffLouie Josephe vader121 Val Da Car

  5. #5

    Re: An open letter to Tom Cruise

    After Minority Report, Colateral, and The Last Samurai I was actually starting to like Tom Cruise.
    Good work Chux.
    [FONT=Book Antiqua]He passes to Moses - He shoots, he scores![/FONT]
    Mummy of the raincoat is a gigantic trollop.
    DOMINATE!


  6. #6

    Re: An open letter to Tom Cruise

    Anyone else see Cruise get squirted by that "watergun microphone" in London? Funny stuff...here's the story:

    Cruise all wet
    "You know I love the guy but I swear he writes like freaking Yoda."-Dean Winchester
    R12:2-Be Transformed

  7. #7

    Re: An open letter to Tom Cruise

    What is the matter Chux have you never been in love with love?

  8. #8

    Re: An open letter to Tom Cruise

    Bravo, Chux! I'm boycotting WOTW because of this nutjob being in it, never mind the rumors that it's really just an anti-war movie in disguise - which would also keep me away from it. Cruise has successfully corrupted former Catholic Katie Holmes, taking advantage of her childhood crush to a disgusting level by brainwashing her into Scientology. I think it's time for Mr. Cruise to retire, bacause I think a lot of people are tired of seeing his crazy mug all over the screen these days.

  9. #9

    Re: An open letter to Tom Cruise

    Quote Originally Posted by JimJamBonds
    What is the matter Chux have you never been in love with love?
    I think it's more he was in love with Tom Cruise, and got jilted for Katie Holmes.

    MTFBWY and HH!!

    Jar Jar Binks
    THE SPY. THE SPACEMAN. THE GODDESS. THE ROBOT. THE GORILLA.

    AGENTS OF ATLAS - Returns in Early 2009.

  10. #10

    Re: An open letter to Tom Cruise

    I couldn't agree more with you Chux, this guy is one sick ****.

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