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  1. #1

    Letter from Anakin

    Dear Mom,

    Things are going good here. The Jedi Temple is really big! I wish I had my own room. My room mate wets the bed a lot. Who ever heard of a Jedi who wets the bed?

    My lightsaber instructor is a guy named Yoda. He's really short, shorter than me and he's over 800 years old! I think I could take him in a fight, he dosen't look very strong. He kinda freaks everyone out with his big wierd eyes and his big pointy ears. He also talks funny, all backwards and stuff, I guess he thinks it makes him sound wise.

    Well, I gotta go, we're practicing meditation techniques and if I become really good, I might be able to see the future!

    I miss you,
    May the force be with you.

  2. #2
    Senator Bel-Cam Jos's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Where "text" & "friend" are (n) & "fail" is (v)

    Re: Letter from Anakin

    Hello Mother,
    Something simple. Greetings from the... Jedi Temple. Things are cool here, but this place is, not like home I miss the fun of my pod races.

    We have these wizard robes to wear, and they actually let you clean yourself! I got a great haircut with a braid. We don't get to make our own lightsabers yet, but to let you in on a little secret, I borrowed some droid parts (don;t worry, they were already in a trash dispenser) and made a casing for one. Maybe I can send it to you and Threepio could become the galaxy's first Jedi droid!

    Remember that dream I told you about? Where I freed all the slaves? Well, I heard that one of the Jedi trials is to free slaves! Who knew? Since I know I'm going to do just that, now I know I'll be a great Jedi! I'll be as powerful as a volcano! A breath of fresh air for the galaxy! When I walk by, people will say "I like him. I'd rather choke and die before he ever hurt anyone."

    Anyway, I'm off to practice moving fruit with the Force. Master Obi-Wan has been a little grumpy when I do that on my own, but hey, he's my Master and I am but the learner. His powers are strong! I'm glad he came back.


    Too late; I already copyrighted these parodies: Rogue Juan, Rogue Won, Rogue Huan, Rogue Wan, Rogue Obi-Wan, Rouge One, Rogue Wand.

  3. #3
    Banned stillakid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Los Angeles

    Re: Letter from Anakin

    Dear Mom,

    I've been feeling down a bit lately. The other day, I was wandering around the Temple, just seeing some of things that I haven't seen before...okay, I was sneaking around where I shouldn't have been. I'm really sorry about that. I won't do it again.

    But anyway, I found this book thing and I think it was the script for the next stuff I'm supposed to do. There's a character in there that has my name and everything...well, not everything really. This guy isn't anything like me at all! I don't know who wrote this but do they really expect me to say this stuff? And maybe not afterall. This "new" Anakin is way too old and doesn't even seem to look anything like me.

    Mom, I'm worried. I think that somebody has plans to get rid of me and replace me with somebody else! And smear my happy go lucky name while they're at it! What do I do?! Can you get me out of here?

    Oops, gotta go. I hear somebody coming down the hall. Talk to you later?


  4. #4

    Re: Letter from Anakin

    Dear mom,

    That guy you had the crush on who took me away from you, the one who promised he'd take care of me and teach me and all, well he went and got himself killed like 2 days after. Now I'm stuck with his young sidekick who keeps pretending he's my dad, nagging me about every little thing, and I'm sure he thinks he's my best friend by now. And get this, nobody even told me this till after I joined, but I don't get to come visit you or even have personal time, what kind of banthacrap is that? Talk about bait-and-switch, even Watto was never that deceitful! I miss you, and I keep having bad dreams about you marrying some old coot who is missing a leg, how weird is that? I wish I could just come home, but while they say I am fully allowed to leave of my own free will, every time I try they make me take a 3 hour seminar on the benefits of the Jedi Order and how leaving will affect my future, and by the end somehow I get all confused and decide to stay, I swear Master Windu (this big jerk who is one of the top guys here and is always mean to me and giving me dirty looks) is behind one of the curtains in the seminar room using his Jedi mind powers on me. I miss Tatooine so much, I wish I was there right now, every time we go on a mission that takes us to the outer rim I keep asking to take a side trip down to Tatooine, I feel like the Tatooine surface is almost in my reach, I know if we ever get into orbit I'll end up doing whatever it takes to get down to the planet, even if it means stealing a shuttle or escape pod.

    Well, I better finish, we're not allowed to send any sorts of letters home so I've used my Jedi powers to convince the laundry guy to hide this among all the soiled robes to sneak it out so he can mail it to you, and I can hear his squeeking laundry cart coming down the hall now.
    -Love, Ani
    Darth Vader is becoming the Mickey Mouse of Star Wars.

    Kylo Ren - came from Space Brooklyn, although he moved to Space Williamsburg before it was trendy.

    The use of a lightsaber does not make one a Jedi, it is the ability to not use it.

  5. #5

    Re: Letter from Anakin

    a case of misdirected mail.

  6. #6

    Re: Letter from Anakin

    Dear Mom,
    I got my lazer sword today it's a real gonzo colour. master Kenobi says I'm not allowed to switch it on yet but in my room I cut out paper doillies with it just for kicks. How wizard is that!

    I've been talking with master Yoda and he says my dreams are just nonsense and keeps muttering something about how hard it is to see or change the future but I know I'm going to. I can feel it in head. Almost as if someone is telling me I will. Senator Palpatine invited me round for tea and buns. he has some weird stuff in his place. like naked lady statues and stuff. I think he's seen a lot of the galaxy. He says he's gonna help me towards my future as much as he can. That sounds cool. the other padawans are mighty jealous 'cause I got high powered friends. I got into a fight with one dude, some kinda hairy kid, has breath like a womp rats gas. he tried to say I was Senator palpatines whipping boy but i said the senator isn't like that and accidentally crushed the dudes rib cage with my hands. i guess I don't know my own strength huh? Oh the hairy kid is okay, turns out he didn't need his rib cage cause his lungs are in his butt. This place sure is crazy. if it wasn't true you'd think some chinless bozo with no friends made it all up.....

    Gotta go, master kenobi wants me to go clean the latrines. I don't think he likes me much he keeps making me wear this curly red wig and sing and dance.

    Love Ani. xxxxx

  7. #7

    Re: Letter from Anakin

    Dear Mom,

    Last week I got out of the Temple for a while and played around in some garbage races in the underbelly of Coruscant. Then me and Obi-Wan went to this far-off planet where we fought funny aliens and got to meet this guy named Tarkin and I got this wizard living spaceship! Yippee!!

    But when I got back, my spaceship died because it was too far from home. And to make things worse, everyone's arguing over whether I had this adventure. Half the people don't want to believe it if it's not on film, and the other half want to try to figure out exactly where in the story of my life this falls.

    People are so silly sometimes.

    Love, Ani
    That's my jacket!

  8. #8

    Re: Letter from Anakin

    Dear Mom,

    You know that girl we met on Tatooine, the one named Padme?

    Yeah. F***ed her.

    - Ani
    Got a question for Hasbro? Ask it here!
    My Photos and Reviews: SSG Toy Guide
    My Star Wars Fan Film: The Lazy Jedi

  9. #9
    scruffziller's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    The frozen tundra of Scandinavia

    Re: Letter from Anakin


    This thread is being shut down by order of Jedi Council.
    No Padawan must have any contact with family members from the outside whatsoever. Attatchment leads to the darkside.
    No matter how I die, even if there is a suicide note; it was murder. Cheers!

  10. #10

    Re: Letter from Anakin

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. JabbaJohnL
    Dear Mom,

    You know that girl we met on Tatooine, the one named Padme?

    Yeah. F***ed her.

    - Ani
    LMFAO! Your not old enough for that kind of humor, JJL!
    It's a blacked-out blur but I'm pretty sure it ruled.

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