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  1. #1

    December 19, 2005: I have stared evil directly in its face

    And I have survived.

    Barely.

    As I write this, I have just completed watching the Holiday Special for the first time.

    Well, not "just." There was about an hour of crying in the shower afterwards.

    It was an hour and a half that I still don't have the courage to remember. Between Star Destroyer Commanders who call themselves Imperial Guards and like to take time off to catch Jefferson Airplane, to surreal Wookiee porno, it's all just too much to stomach.

    I truly see why everyone says, "It's not as bad as you hear it is. It's worse."

    Was the stupid garbage (and I realize I may be insulting my refuse by calling this "garbage") actually supposed to be funny and/or entertaining back when it aired? Did people laugh at the stupid four-armed alien Julia Childs, or find the idiot who kept losing power to be amusing?

    What was worse, the freakin' circus act that would not end, or the R2-D2 mockup with no details who apparently was taking Luke to the prom (judging from the makeup).

    It was a brief, dark time, in which I prayed for death, and death came not.

    I was hoping Fode and Beed could stop by with Jar Jar and Cindel, just to add some respectability to the proceedings.

    And just when you think it's over, weird **** with the Wookiees suddenly wearing red bathrobes and Carrie Fisher trying to sing! And failing miserably!

    Jeez. I'd go on in more detail, but it's hurting my mind to recall details.
    Tommy, close your eyes.

  2. #2
    ahh yes...the wookie porn.
    the special was kinda like sucking on an industrial
    size tube of preperation h for a couple hours.
    loved that sweet falcon cockpit tho.
    Meatwad Make The Money See ,Meatwad Get The Honeys G ,Drivin In My Car, Livin' Like A Star,Ice On My Fingers And My Toes And I'm A Taurus.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by El Chuxter
    And I have survived.

    Barely.

    As I write this, I have just completed watching the Holiday Special for the first time.

    Well, not "just." There was about an hour of crying in the shower afterwards.

    .
    Quote of the day my friend! ROTFLMAO! I was given a copy several Christmas's ago, and I turned it off after fast forwarding it to the Boba Fett cartoon which I was told was the only good segment. I couldn't make it through the lame acting, and the Wookies talking to each other with no clue as to what they were saying.
    2012 RFL Thank You to, TeeEye7 & Slicker!!!!
    Be an organ donor, save lives!

  4. #4
    So... does this mean that you actually PURCHASED a copy of this on eBay or something??
    OK... I BLOG. YOU READ. at http://jedipartner1967.livejournal.com
    **Steven Sterlekar (1969-2001)**

  5. #5
    No, thank God. If I'd spent money on it, I'd be tracking down the seller to kick him in the goods. A friend of mine got this, as well as the original Original Trilogy on DVD as a gift a few months ago, and passed them along to me to watch and/or copy as I chose.

    Now that a little time has passed, I understand why Lucas wants to destroy every copy of this. If anyone has his home phone number, I'll call him up and offer my help. I can volunteer 30-40 hours a week to travel around the country, destroying bootleg Holiday Special DVDs.

    This wasn't even in the "so bad, it's funny" category. And I had nightmares of Bea Arthur singing belligerent aliens out of the cantina.

    Speaking of which, what was with the word "friend" being dropped clumsily about 4,562,912 times during this fiasco?

    Ackmeena*: Just one more round, friend. You're a true friend. Let's dance, friend. Goodnight, friend.

    Boba: We need the antidote, friend. Friend, you'd better stay out of sight. Luke is my friend.

    Chris: Solving your problems isn't our line.
    Vin: We deal in lead, friend.

    Wait, that last one wasn't even from the bloody Holiday Special! And it's a cool line! This has really messed my mind up.

    * -- I only know Ackmeena's name because she's in one of the Visual Guides. Seriously.
    Last edited by El Chuxter; 12-20-2005 at 08:41 AM.
    Tommy, close your eyes.

  6. #6
    About 5 years ago Caesar lent me his copy, it still brings back nightmares if I think about it too much. I don't remember how long it was but I know I couldn't get through the entire special. Thanks for bringing up that painfull painfull memory there Chux!

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by El Chuxter
    Was the stupid garbage (and I realize I may be insulting my refuse by calling this "garbage") actually supposed to be funny and/or entertaining back when it aired? Did people laugh at the stupid four-armed alien Julia Childs, or find the idiot who kept losing power to be amusing?
    Quote of the week, easy, and it shall be designated as such.

    My "favorite" part of the Holiday Special is the entire first half hour of nothing but wookie growls. Who the f**k thought that was a good idea? At least on the boot-leg copy of Slicker's that I watched there were a ton of old school SW toy commercials. Though not redeeming or vindicitive, at least it made the DVD worth the five cents it cost to produce it.
    It's a blacked-out blur but I'm pretty sure it ruled.

  8. #8
    my wife ...lovingly got me this about 3/4 years ago from a friend who was going to throw it out.... oh , if it only completed its trip to the bin. i only watched about 5/10 min before my insides began to leave the room without me. is the boba fet cartoon worth it? i did not know there was one , i have yet to finish watching it fearing i might burn my whole collection before the next daybraek.
    later
    and We're back in 3..2.. ..
    [FONT=Arial]"The streets will flow with the blood of the nonbelivers!" Corn Julio[/FONT]
    "Same as it Ever was.." repeat as neccessary..

  9. #9
    The animation on the Boba Fett was absolutely incredible. I was shocked, since Nelvan also did the Ewoks and Droids cartoons, which weren't exactly the best in the world.

    The story in that segment was fairly solid, though it's completely been nullified by both later EU and the Prequels. The only drawback is that, about halfway through it, Lumpy apparently gets excited and starts howling, and it cuts to him interacting with one of the incredibly ineffectual Imperial Officers and trying to cover up the fact that he has a "video" of Rebel activity.
    Tommy, close your eyes.

  10. #10
    That video alone is a compelling argument against being a SW completist. I can't believe I still hear fans grumbling that they want it rereleased.

    Listen people! Having something that rare only makes you cool if it doesn't completely suck.
    This announcement has been brought to you by a generous grant from the Ranting Jonna Foundation
    "Helping to improve your life through nonsensical ravings for over 35 years"


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