And I have survived.

Barely.

As I write this, I have just completed watching the Holiday Special for the first time.

Well, not "just." There was about an hour of crying in the shower afterwards.

It was an hour and a half that I still don't have the courage to remember. Between Star Destroyer Commanders who call themselves Imperial Guards and like to take time off to catch Jefferson Airplane, to surreal Wookiee porno, it's all just too much to stomach.

I truly see why everyone says, "It's not as bad as you hear it is. It's worse."

Was the stupid garbage (and I realize I may be insulting my refuse by calling this "garbage") actually supposed to be funny and/or entertaining back when it aired? Did people laugh at the stupid four-armed alien Julia Childs, or find the idiot who kept losing power to be amusing?

What was worse, the freakin' circus act that would not end, or the R2-D2 mockup with no details who apparently was taking Luke to the prom (judging from the makeup).

It was a brief, dark time, in which I prayed for death, and death came not.

I was hoping Fode and Beed could stop by with Jar Jar and Cindel, just to add some respectability to the proceedings.

And just when you think it's over, weird **** with the Wookiees suddenly wearing red bathrobes and Carrie Fisher trying to sing! And failing miserably!

Jeez. I'd go on in more detail, but it's hurting my mind to recall details.