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  1. #11
    C-3PO: They're going to dump millions of her rarest sculpt onto TRU shelves for $1.97!

    Luke: We can't let that happen?

    Han: Why not? Better her pegwarming than us!

    Luke: It's a beautiful sculpt.

    Han: So are most of my recent sculpts, so NYAH!

    Luke: She's valuable.

    Han: How valuable?

    Luke: She's a discontinued Fan Club exclusive. Her value's got to be. . . . well, more than any of your resculpts will ever be priced at.

    Han: I don't know. I can put whatever price tag I want on my card.

    Luke: Yeah, but she'll actually sell at such prices.

    Han: Okay, but only because otherwise we'll just be sitting here, missing the best parts of the movie.

    Luke: Okay, here's an idea. . . .
    Tommy, close your eyes.

  2. #12
    "Let's resculpt ourselves as a TRU exclusive! Here, Chewie, I'm gonna put these twist ties on your feet so you'll--


    "Um, Han, you put the twist ties on him."

    "Hold on, Chewie, I think I know what he's getting at."

    A few minutes later. . . .
    Tommy, close your eyes.

  3. #13
    The TRU exclusive trio make they're way down the Death Star corridor.

    Luke: "Man I swear we keep passing the same bulkhead over and over again."

    Han: "That's because it's the same twenty feet of Death Star repeated over and over! Hasbro never made an elevator! Oh god, why can't we be in the vintage Death Star playset?"

    Luke: "I just wish I could lower my arms, I'm starting to chaffe."

    Han: "Yeah, me too. Damn action poses! Hey look over there, it's the Detention Cell Playset, but how are we going to get to it?"

  4. #14


    Dozens of DS Troopers, Captain Pietts, DS Droids, CTC Stormtroopers walk by. Luke, Han, and Chewie can barely contain their desires to grab as many of these highly-sought after figures. Luckily, they notice that a TRU ladder was left in the department, so they can reach the Detention Cell Playset on the top shelf afterall.

    A Vintage Imperial Commander approaches.
    IC: "Where are you taking this... thing?"
    Luke: "Toy recall. No choking hazard label, code AA-23."
    IC: "I wasn't notified. I'll have to clear it."
    Another DS Trooper approaches, in his crappy crouching pose. Realizing their time is up, Luke and Han react.
    Han: "Oh no! The figures are opened and loose!"
    Luke: "It'll plummet in value!"
    Finally getting all the twist ties off, the trio pull the laser cannons off the Detention Cell Playset, since they're so flimsy, and crumple the bubbles on the remaining DS Troopers.
    Han: "Let's find out where this Fan Club Exclusive princess of yours is. Okay, aisle 38."
    Luke heads off to find her while Han deals with their situation...
    Last edited by Bel-Cam Jos; 09-06-2001 at 11:23 AM.
    "May the 4th be with you?" "Why yes, thank you for asking."

  5. #15
    Luke opens the door to Princess Leia's cell and suddenly freezes in his tracks realizing he's found the red-carded Monkey-Face Leia instead of FF New Sculpt Leia.

    Luke: (thinking) Freak, I would have to find the ugly one. Where's a paper sack when you need one?

    Leia: Aren't you a little short for a CTC stormtrooper?

    Luke: (removing his helmet) No, I'm GC Stormtrooper Luke with the squared-off bubble. I'm here to rescue you from on-line scalpers.

    Meanwhile, Han and Chewie take care of business...

    (control panel beeping)

    Han: Crap! I can't activate this console through this plastic bag. Why couldn't I have been CS ST Han instead of mail-away ST Han?

    Upon hearing his lament, Chewie rips open Han's plastic bag.

    Han: Chewie, what the heck are you doing? I'm no longer MIMP! Don't you realize my value is now a fourth of what I could be sold for on ebay?!
    "I'm just a YES man trying to make my way in the universe." - Jango McCallum

    "Good dialogue and smooth editing are no match for a good YES man by your side, kid." - George Lucas

  6. #16
    Luke: We're here with a soft-goods Obi-Wan!

    Leia: A soft-goods Obi? White CommTech or Holo?

    Luke: Uh. . . .

    Leia: Some rescue! Gimme that gun. You need a two-handed grip and an all new likeness.

    Elsewhere, Obi-Wan searches for the scalper beam controls. . . .
    Tommy, close your eyes.

  7. #17


    Luckily, this is Cantina Showdown Obi-Wan, so he can sneak around the Death Star Chasm playset easier. He turns off the eBay countdown clock to allow the group to escape without being tracked, but two Crowd Control Stormtroopers are left to stand guard.

    ST #1: "What'd you thinks going on?"
    ST #2: "Must be some kind of clearance sale again."
    ST #1: "You see that new Aurra Sing variation?"
    ST #2: "Yeah, the guys say it's something... what's that?"
    Obi-Wan has become F/X Obi-WAn and glows his green? lightsaber to create a strange shadow on the wall to distract them. Then he leaves.

    Darth Vader pauses, turns his head, and almost trips over DS Droid's mouse droid pack-in.
    But back in the Cell Block...
    "May the 4th be with you?" "Why yes, thank you for asking."

  8. #18
    Our heroes have been pinned in the detention cell corridor by a platoon of stormtroopers!

    Luke: "I keep hitting them but the blasts just bounce off!"

    Leia: "You idiots! Those are COMMTECH Stormtroopers, only cold water will penetrate their armor!"

    With that Leia pulls out.....
    Last edited by bigbarada; 09-13-2001 at 10:24 PM.

  9. #19

    Lightbulb This'll just be a minute!

    ... time travel device! Because we can't miss out on one of the most classic scenes in the Classic Trilogy.

    After telling Luke where Leia is being held, the Cell Block alarm is flashing.
    A barely-audible, poorly constrcuted voice comes over the speaker.
    Voice: "Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not given you clarvoiance enough to find the Rebels' hidden fortress."
    Han: "Han Solo; captain of the Millenium Falcon."
    Voice: "Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not given you clarvoiance enough to find the Rebels' hidden fortress."
    Han: "Great kid. Don't get cocky!"
    Voice: "Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not given you clarvoiance enough to find the Rebels' hidden fortress."
    Han: "Chewie! Get us out of here!"
    Voice: "Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not given you clarvoiance enough to find the Rebels' hidden fortress."
    Han (shoots the COMMtech reader): "Boring conversation anyway. They really should have produced more Imperial character chips. Luke we're gonna have some major retial dumping!"

    NOW, since the scene's done, Leia pulls out...
    "May the 4th be with you?" "Why yes, thank you for asking."

  10. #20
    a clearenced Naboo water blaster!

    Fruit Loops Han: "Can't sell out that way"

    New Likeness Leia: "Looks like you've managed to use up all the specially marked packages!"

    Han: "Maybe you'd like a little bit of milk with that, your Highness?"

    "Now what?"

    New Likeness Leia: "This is some rescue! When you got stocked in here, didn't you have a plan for selling out? !"

    Han: "He's the pegwarming red card / green card, reissue-with-a-hologram!"

    Luke ST FF: "Well, I didn't..."

    Leia soaks a hole in the Detention Cell Rescue Playset's thick cardboard packaging with many shots from her nifty watergun.

    Han: "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

    Leia: "These won't sell! Somebody has to make it so the stores can send them back as damaged merchandise! Into the cardboard price-guy!"

    Leia crawls into the hole torn in the waterlogged box.

    Han [To Chewie]: "Get in there you undersized plastic resculpt! Maybe you can ship back to Hasbro. Get in there!"

    [To Luke] "Wonderful girl. Either I'm going to dump her at a garage sale, or I just might buy her. Get in there!"

    They fire the rest of the water out of the Naboo pistol and soak the CommTech troopers but good, and jump into the hole Leia tore in the Death Star playset's cardboard box.


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