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  1. #1

    Why do cell phone ringtones suck so bad?

    Mrs Chuxter and I got new cell phones today, and we're not the type to buy lots of useless toys for them. (Not talking about the Saga II type of toys, but stupid garbage like text messaging and lo-res cameras and such.)

    Nor would we be the type to download a new ringtone every week, like I heard about people doing. But the phone comes with a bare minimum of wallpaper and ringtones, likely to entice you to go online and buy ones that don't suck. For wallpaper, no biggie. If they don't come up with a Mandalorean skull or Decepticon logo, I can live with the simple clock.

    I went to look at, err, listen to tones online to see if there was anything worthwhile. I don't mind buying one to last as long as the phone. But the selection sucks harder than the selection of CDs at the average Best Buy nowadays, and the quality? YEESH!! Ten years ago, when someone made a bad synthesized version of a song, and had bad synthesized sax or keyboard replacing the vocals, we didn't called them "ringtones." We called them "Muzak," and it was something to be loathed and despised, not gobbled up and blasted for everyone in Target to hear when you get a call.

    Seriously. A lot of songs went through my mind that had strong instrumentals, and of the maybe 7% that were actually available, they were bloody Muzak!

    Wouldn't it make sense to put some instrumentals, so you don't have to muck around with them too much to make them work on a phone? (Who wouldn't think a cell phone playing "Peaches en Regalia" would be freakin' sweet?)

    Maybe I'm PO'd that I can't get "Duel of the Fates" or "Battle of the Heroes," since Lucas licensed them to another cell company. But I should be able to find something. As it is, the only one that doesn't sound like something I'd tune out in an elevator is the theme to Sanford and Son, which is cool, but not worth paying for.
    Tommy, close your eyes.

  2. #2
    Chuxter, you need some Chuck Norris ringtones. Everytime it rings it says CHUCK NORRIS!

  3. #3
    Cell phones are crap IMO. I am glad I never bought one.
    thanks Chux Turbo LBC Bobafrett Mtriv73 Rjarvis JF96 JT JMG FB Rogue2 Tycho Slicker Deoxy Caesar JontheJedi JJReason Brandon Solo JMS UK for great deals.
    SSG Pro Football Pick em and Bowl Pick em Champ 2006. 2007 NCAA Bracket Champ
    #24 - Gone but not forgotten

  4. #4
    Also last I checked cell phones were for phone calls. When I switched plans I went into the store and literally told them that I want a phone that I can talk to other people on and that's it. So what does the associate do, she tries to sell me one with a camera. Whatever. It's all overrated, although Tmobile does have Napoleon Dynamite ringtones.
    Up, up, and OKAAAAY!!!

  5. #5
    Yeah, the guy was shocked that I didn't want text messaging and a camera and such. The only extra I could see was a phone that doubles as an MP3 player, but at this point, they're hella expensive and have very little memory, so I'd just get a separate MP3 player when I want one.

    Text messaging seems really ludicrous to me, because it's what people used to do before cell phones, when they had these little devices called "pagers." When cell phones became prominent and affordable, pagers more or less disappeared. But now cell phone carriers are stepping back, and charging more for it because they're hyping it as something cool for the kids! It's like if Ford suddenly released a car that was on rollers instead of wheels and said it was the latest thing and well worth the $5000 extra it cost.

    If I can't get a cool one, I'm more than fine with the standard ring. The default wallpaper was an animation of cute fuzzy animals--as crazy as it sounds, if there wasn't an obviously Photoshopped dog mixed in, I'd be fine with ferrets and baby seals, too. (But there's a plain old clock, too, which is all I need. That dog was freaky.)

    I pretty much use it to call family on both sides (all of whom are long distance but luckily have the same wireless carrier) and quick, "Hey, I'm in Wal-Mart, and they've got ________ from the _______ line."
    Tommy, close your eyes.

  6. #6
    I only have a cell phone, no regular phone for me, bill is usually around 50 bucks a month which I can live with since I always have a signal.
    You'll be sorry, Pee-Wee Herman!

  7. #7

  8. #8
    You know which ringtone I hate most?

    The one halfway through class for the girl wearing Uggs with her jeans tucked into them. Then she gives a "WTF are you looking at, Dr. Professor?!?!?" look and turns it to vibrate, where it should be anyway since they're always carrying it in their paw so people will say "WOW! You've got a cellphone?! You must be real important!".


    Man, it's a good thing I'm not bitter.....
    It's a blacked-out blur but I'm pretty sure it ruled.

  9. #9
    Mrs Rogue II and I just got new cell phones a couple weeks ago. I had my old one for 2 years. It was the old black & white screen-nothing fancy, even when it was new. It never occured to me to change the background until you mentioned it in your post. I had 5 choices...2 Cigular backgrounds, a dog, a snowboarder, and a calender. I went with the calender.

    For the ringtone, I'm using the default bell. Anything else would just confuse me.
    Yo momma. That's right, I said "yo momma".

  10. #10
    I have a cellphone and my carrier is Cingular and I downloaded about 5 star wars ringtones for mine and they are the actual music from the movies. They sound great and that's enough for me. But already I've lived many many years without one and I'm still fine. It is nice to have though just in case my Mom needs me and I can talk to my girlfriend for free 'cause she has the same plan! But that's about all I use it for.

    Overall though, I despise talking on the phone for any length of time...any phone! I'm just not a phone person for the most part! I don't even have an answering machine on my house phone, no call waiting...nothing but the cheapo phone service and that suits me fine.

    What I've noticed about cellphones too is that they are a tool to make people extremely RUDE!! They talk on them EVERYWHERE! I know, let's go to a restaurant and talk on the phone while your server is trying to take your order for food which is why you are there in the first place...IDIOTS! Or let's talk on the phone in a public place REALLY loud so that everyone can here your freakin' conversation and be really annoyed because of your loud mouth!
    GIGANTA: A robot that automatically produces fun!

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