I Have Massive Contempt for The Hiring Process. Do you?

[Phantom-like Menace]

The subject says it all. I've been looking for a second job and of course employers have it in their heads that they only hire the best of the best. I'd ask if they had really looked at the invertebrates riding the clock in their stores but I doubt they would admit they made a mistake like that.

My least favorite aspect of the hiring process is that stupid questionnaire that is roughly one hundred questions long but can really be boiled down to about three questions if they didn't ask the same question over and over again. You know the questionnaire, the one that crashes right when you get to question number ninety-five. I came home today and Googled the name of the company that the company that will likely not hire me outsourced their hiring out to (remember the store's motto: People first!), and I dropped them an email. This was the body of the email:
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Did you know that a time honored technique in breaking subjects in interrogations is to ask the same question over and over again? Do you strongly disagree, slightly disagree, slightly agree, strongly agree, or are you not sure?

Did you know that a time honored technique in breaking subjects in interrogations is to ask the same question over and over again? Do you strongly disagree, slightly disagree, slightly agree, strongly agree, or are you not sure?

Did you know that a time honored technique in breaking subjects in interrogations is to ask the same question over and over again? Do you strongly disagree, slightly disagree, slightly agree, strongly agree, or are you not sure?

Did you know that a time honored technique in breaking subjects in interrogations is to ask the same question over and over again? Do you strongly disagree, slightly disagree, slightly agree, strongly agree, or are you not sure?

So I'm not a big fan of your questionnaires is all I'm saying.
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How much do you hate the employment process?

[plasticfetish]

It's rarely a fun thing to go through the whole interview process. In most cases it ends up seeming that they're looking to scan the crown of possible employees for the biggest rubes. So that they can more easily take advantage of them later on.

I've started looking for a part time job -- nothing wild, just trying to bring in a few extra bucks this summer, and I'm having to play down my past experience. "So, it says here that you were a TV art director... why do you want to work in my clothing store again?"



...but it doesn't have to be all bad. My wife recently jumped ship from one larger company to a smaller local company, and they have a brilliant hiring process. In addition to interviewing with the store manager, they also have a kind of general HR person (a recruiter) who's job it is to interview every person that applies. A lot of times the managers aren't exactly gifted when it comes to hiring. There's a specific set of skills involved that some of them just don't have. In the case of my wife's current company, it's nice to see that they filter each new applicant past a few different people. Each person sort of lending their personal touch to the process.

I suppose that's what sucks most about what you're saying Phantom-like Menace... the fact that it can be so impersonal.

[Phantom-like Menace]

Yeah, local sounds like a way to go. Unfortunately, the locals destroy local businesses in acts of unbridled predation. I think the only reason national businesses can survive in this city is because they can absorb the odd location that is constantly raped by yokels.

On the plus side, I've gone through the local paper's website and it seems Destro is hiring:

US-Nationwide
$60K Base Salary + Bonuses- Sales / Service
M.A.R.S. International
Apr-21
Job type: Full time | Pay: $60k/year
Sales and Service - $60K Base Salary Plus Bonuses and Benefits M.A.R.S. International is expanding in your area. We are looking for Sales and Service...

[Kidhuman]

The jobs I have had I didnt need ot go through an interview process on most of them. I worked with the same person who was my boss for nearly ten years in NYC. When he left, he offered me the job and I had to go through the formality interview, so it wasnt that bad.

I did go through an interview process at my job now, but it was a typing test for one(which I copied and pasted, idiots allowed it to) and a standard interview pertaining to customer service and interactions with them, so it was easy.

I have filled out those stupid 450 questoaire things and they are by and far ridiculous. They same 10 questions over and over and over again rephrased differently. You would actually be suprised at the people who answer the same question differently every single time. I used to look at some when I did interview and had top select the people whom I wanted to interview.

[Phantom-like Menace]

You would actually be suprised at the people who answer the same question differently every single time.

Yeah, that's because we're all lying. You look at the question "I would rather punch a customer full in the face than answer their requests," and you can't answer, strongly agree. So you lie. Then by the eighth time you are asked that same question you can't remember if you said strongly disagree or slightly disagree or whether or not you panicked and picked the unsure option. As far as I can tell, the entire point of those questionnaires is to lie through your soon-to-be-employed teeth.

Part of me figures you can't answer every question perfectly, because it would be obvious you're lying. The rest of me figures the average employer is just insane enough they are probably sitting around waiting for that one person who scores perfectly to bring the Bright White Light of His Customer Service Brilliance into his office. I imagine this is where all of the aforementioned invertebrates come from.

[Kidhuman]

There is no question we lie on those, but taking a minute to read the question and not skim it is important. The ones I hate the most on there is the pick one word to describe you:

Late
Punctual
Timely
Efficent


What the hell is that, dont pick late and you are good to go.

[Phantom-like Menace]

Yeah, that's definitely a good example.

I think one of my favorite questions is, "How many times have you been promoted at your job?" My job consists of exactly two levels, and the next one up is the single manager and owner. The answer is I have not been promoted, and there is no conclusion to be drawn from that.

I'm also curious why when you fill out an application for fry cook at McDonalds or what have you, they want to know you're a leader. Oh yeah. The world will fall before my ability to take control of things for the better. Would you like fries with that? Of course that question assumes they want a leader when what they all want is a follower who will shut up and take their every direction. These people are scared of leaders. Leaders work elsewhere.

[Slicker]

Unfortunately for you (but fortunately for me) I've never had to really deal with the hiring process. My first job was at a restaraunt where Cappy worked so he basically got me in with no application or anything. My next job at a factory I basically got in because I knew a guy that knew some people. I had to fill out an application but it was a formality and it got me my benefits and whatnot then I just had to sign on the dotted line for my current job. Not much of an interview to go through.

[Sith Lord 0498]

What amazes me about the hiring process is the lowest-level McJobs (fast food joints, Wal-Mart, TRU, etc.) have the most rigorous hiring procedures. Like it was stated before, they want to know if you're a leader, what your entire moral background is, if you can handle "demanding" hours (yeah I can as long as I'm getting paid for them...count out WM there ), etc. etc.

My favorite was when I was looking into a part-time seasonal job at TRU to bring in a little extra income. They grilled me like I was applying at the CIA, and after a half hour into it they dropped the bombshell that I'd be making less than $6.00 an hour. I had to fight the urge not to walk out laughing my head off. Needless to say, I didn't take it. I just took some extra hours per week at my regular job where I made $15/hr.

[JON9000]

Employers on the mass retail scale are concerned about three things:

1. You show up on time

2. You won't steal

3. You won't bring about a lawsuit

I would love to hear the conversations in human resources on what to look for in prospective candidates. I mean, they want somebody who can do the basics but they have to realize they are not going to get top people who do it as their only gig. And if they do, those people will likely be less than motivated when they realize at any time they can walk down the street and get another job making the same money.