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  1. #1

    Man, some people are stupid

    So I have to go and run some errands earlier, and I come home to find a sign advertising 1-800-SPA-SALE stuck in my yard. Not in the common area, but in my yard. So I toss it in the garbage, and then call the number.

    First the dude just answers as "Hello," sounding half-drunk.

    "Yeah, is this 1-800-SPA-SALE?"

    After a pause, he says, "Uh, yeah."

    "Y'know, I came home today, and I found a sign in my yard from your company, and I really don't appreciate it."

    "Come again?"

    "There was a sign from your company placed in my private property sometime this morning--

    "Excuse me?"

    (And obviously, I'm getting a little irritated at this point.) "Look, your sign was in my yard today. I've got family coming up for Christmas, and I don't want them to see junk in my yard."

    "What?"

    "Look, I'm not repeating myself again. Please tell whoever places your signs to make sure not to put them in people's yards. It's trespassing."

    (And I hung up.)

    Thirty seconds later, the phone rings from a number I don't recognize. I'm not stupid; I know who it is. So I answer the phone.

    "You know that sign that was in your yard? What you need to do is roll it up real tight, and shove it up your ***."

    "Yeah, real creative, buddy." (Click.)

    It boggles my mind that idiots with their own business, who have the resources to put up all these signs, don't have the frigging common sense to just politely say, "Okay, I'll tell Garry (or some other made up name) to be more careful."

    'Cause this dumbarse doesn't know if I need a spa or not. But I'm sure as hell going to tell everyone I can that the company's run by a jack***.

    BTW, I searched online to find info on who's behind the company. Apparently they're notorious for this over the entire nation, and pass the buck whenever confronted with silly things like trespassing and litter laws.

    But, hey, my number is unlisted and restricted to caller ID. So this moron wasted his money with *69.

    If you have a blocked number, give this dork a call and bust his chops, 'kay?

    Last edited by El Chuxter; 12-24-2006 at 05:18 PM.
    Tommy, close your eyes.

  2. #2
    Make a complaint to the state attorney general's office. They may already have an open file on this particular business.
    Weird War Tales: Featuring the Creature Commandos #105 November 1981 (DC Comics)

  3. #3
    I think I'll call them. I'll do my retard voice and I'll ask them if I can buy a spy if they're still on sale. I'll make up a bunch of perverted reasons why I need a spy, such as that I think my pet cats are extra-terrestrials in league with Tom Cruise to take over the planet earth, and see where the conversation goes. Hehehe. I'm so SNARKY sometimes.

    And yes, I know the sign said "SPA Sale," but my impression of an illiterate might make you believe I truly think it says "SPY Sale."
    BAD Pts Need: R5-C7 lf leg (x2), , R4-P44 right leg BAD Pts Offered For Trade: PM me - I have lots of parts now including BG-J38!. New Kyle Katarn is also available.

  4. #4
    Chux, I have an old calling card with unused minutes on it...I'll dial through that so it's not traceable, and I'll hammer away on these guys for you.

  5. #5
    wish i could afford a spa. wish I could brainwash Richard Branson into giving me his island too.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Tycho View Post
    I think I'll call them. I'll do my retard voice and I'll ask them if I can buy a spy if they're still on sale. I'll make up a bunch of perverted reasons why I need a spy, such as that I think my pet cats are extra-terrestrials in league with Tom Cruise to take over the planet earth, and see where the conversation goes. Hehehe. I'm so SNARKY sometimes.

    And yes, I know the sign said "SPA Sale," but my impression of an illiterate might make you believe I truly think it says "SPY Sale."
    That's the funniest thing I've heard all day. You have to tell us how this goes when you call.
    "I'm sick and tried of these motherfrakkking Sith on this motherfrakkker plane!"
    Mace Windu - Episode 2.5: Sith on a Plane

  7. #7
    huh... analog spam.

    seems that they somehow actually GOT customers, but then didn't give them satisfactory service:

    http://www.saltlakecity.bbb.org/comm...l?bid=22012809

    i would log a complaint with the BBB of salt lake city...
    Nachos are the right of all sentient beings.

    The guns... They've stopped!
    - Dan Akroyd, Star Wars Episode IV - A New Hope

  8. #8
    Salt Lake City, huh? That's interesting. When the guy called back to offer his amazing insight, the area code was from Wisconsin. That's a hell of a commute.
    Tommy, close your eyes.

  9. #9
    interesting... well, that's the only listing a search for "1-800-spa-sale" on BBB.org brought up.

    he might have a wisconsin cellphone in SLC, UT as well... i know i still have a raleigh phone number living in brooklyn. that's quite the commute, too! i can also have any phone number in any area code i want with my vonage phone... so i wouldn't assume the guy was actually IN wisconsin when he called you...
    Nachos are the right of all sentient beings.

    The guns... They've stopped!
    - Dan Akroyd, Star Wars Episode IV - A New Hope

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by LusiferSam View Post
    That's the funniest thing I've heard all day. You have to tell us how this goes when you call.
    I've been preoccupied and I have to invent my whole routine, that's why it hasn't happened yet.

    I do plan to use a Southern accent with my feigning illiteracy. That way they might be polite with me as they try to wrap their head around the fact that I pronounce "spy" as "spa," and I hope they'll stay on the phone with me long enough that I get some laughs out of what I want my spa to do.

    I'd love it if they tell me that "You sit in a spa and relax," and I respond in my Southern Hill-Billy drawl that I'm not homosexual and don't want to sit anywhere near my spy (pronouced spa).

    The trick is not to laugh, but be totally serious - I'll have to tape record this so I can later retype the transcript for you as it'll take a lot of effort just not to laugh. Then kill them with kindness so they ought to respond with professional courtesy.
    BAD Pts Need: R5-C7 lf leg (x2), , R4-P44 right leg BAD Pts Offered For Trade: PM me - I have lots of parts now including BG-J38!. New Kyle Katarn is also available.

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