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Thread: New Contest!

  1. #271
    i want my two dollars

  2. #272
    1995 (alternate)
    Rita and Zedd are apparently married (see center panel) with a new assistant, Mordant. Zordon, the Command Center, Alpha Five, the communicators, the Ranger suits, the moon palace, and the Juice Bar all look drastically different from normal continuity.
    His hyper-lock chamber unearthed, Ivan Ooze (see 4,000 BCE) is freed by Zedd. He ravages the Command Center, stripping the Rangers' powers and leaving Zordon in a dying physical form.
    After betraying Rita and Zedd, Ivan creates Tengu Warriors (also see Tengas, center panel).
    On the planet Phaedos, the teens meet the warrior-sage Dulcea and receive Ninjetti powers (also see Ninja powers, center panel) and Ninjazords of a different design from those in normal continuity (see center panel).
    Ivan, meanwhile, unearths his Ectomorphicon Titans Scorpitron and Hornitor (see 4,000 BCE).
    After Scorpitron is destroyed by the Ninjazords, Ivan possesses Hornitor but is destroyed by a comet.
    The Rangers then use their powers to restore the Command Center and revive Zordon.
    MMPR: The Movie

    1995
    Zordon's Power Rangers continue to defend the Earth from Zedd's attacks (see 1994).
    During an encounter with the Scatterbrain monster, Bulk and Skull (see 1994) discover the Rangers' identities and rescue them from the monster. They lose their memories but are told they saved the Rangers.
    Zedd uses the Rock of Time to regress the Earth to a form resembling 1986-87 until the Rangers, restored by Alpha, destroy the rock.
    Rita (see 1994) returns to the moon as Zedd slumbers. Planning to usurp his power, she drugs him with a love potion and marries him, but the couple will grow to love each other even after Zedd is cured of the potion.
    Rita's Wizard of Deception (see 8-10,000 BCE) clones Tommy to recreate the evil Green Ranger (see 1993). The Wizard then banishes the five other Rangers to 1795, but they are eventually rescued by the Green and White Rangers. Ultimately, the clone chooses to remain in the past.
    Sucked into a time hole, Kimberly visits 1880, fighting alongside the Rangers' ancestors before returning home.
    The Rangers visit Edenoi (see 1000-1600 CE), where King Lexian's nephew Count Dregon now rules supreme. They befriend Prince Dex, who uses the Masked Rider powers (see 1000-1600 CE) to lead an underground rebellion.
    Dregon follows the Rangers to Earth and is likely pursued by Dex with an unknown outcome. (Note: Nadira will be watching an episode of the real-life spin-off Saban's Masked Rider in 2001, featuring Dex with his adoptive Earthen family.)
    Rito (see 1,000 BCE) allies with his sister Rita, bringing a legion of avian Tenga Warriors and destroying the Thunderzords (see 1994) in an ambush. The Rangers' Power Coins are burned out, although Adam will still have his charred Morpher and coin in 1998.
    The teens locate Ninjor (see 400-995 CE) and receive Ninja powers and Ninjazords somehow associated with the Aquitian Rangers (see 400-995 CE). Ninjor continues to aid the Rangers in Angel Grove.
    No longer seeking the Rangers' identities (see 1994), Bulk and Skull join the Junior Police Patrol under the guidance of Lt. Jerome Stone.
    When Kimberly's mom moves to France with her fiance, Kimberly moves in with Aisha to train for the Pan Global gymnastics trials (see 1996).
    Freed by Rita and Zedd, the Face Stealer (see 3,000 BCE) is destroyed with the help of a reconfigured Titanus (see 1994).
    During the summer, Kat Hillard (see 1994) moves to Angel Grove and is put under a spell by Rita. Kat steals Kimberly's Power Coin, allowing Zedd to capture Ninjor and the Falconzord to activate the ancient Shogunzords (similar to Battle Borgs, 400-995 CE).
    The Rangers eventually gain control of the Shogunzords, and Kat retrieves Kimberly's coin after breaking Rita's spell.
    Kimberly presumably continues to serve as the Pink Ranger while training for the Pan Globals through the rest of the year. During this unseen period, the Falconzord and Ninjor remain captured, and the Power teens begin their junior year at Angel Grove High.
    On Christmas Eve, the teens protect Santa Claus from Zedd's henchmen. Kat, meanwhile, is away visiting family.
    MMPR-2: "When is a Ranger Not a Ranger?" (Bulk and Skull save Rangers)
    MMPR-2: "The Great Bookala Escape" (Bookala)
    MMPR-2: "The Wedding" (Rita returns)
    MMPR-2: "Return of the Green Ranger" (Wizard of Deception, Tommy clone)
    MMPR-2: "Wild West Rangers" (Kimberly in 1880's)
    MMPR-3: "A Friend in Need" (Edenoites, Dregon, Bulk and Skull abandon quest)
    MMPR-3: "Ninja Quest" (Rito, Ninjor, Junior Police)
    MMPR-3: "A Brush with Destiny" (France, Kimberly's training)
    MMPR-3: "Final Face-Off" (Face Stealer, Titanus)
    MMPR-3: "The Potion Notion" (Zedd cured of love potion)
    MMPR-3: "A Ranger Catastrophe" / "Changing of the Zords" / "A Different Shade of Pink" (Kat, pink Power Coin, Shogunzords)
    MMPR-3: "I'm Dreaming of a White Ranger" (Santa Claus)
    MMPR-3: "I'm Dreaming of a White Ranger" (original video release only - Kat's scene, from which Kimberly's extended stay is inferred)
    PRTF: "The Quantum Quest" (Nadira watches Masked Rider)

    circa 1994-96 (est.)
    Young Shane Clark (see 2003) helps the shapeshifting alien Skyla escape from the bounty hunter Vexacus near Blue Bay Harbor (also see 2003).
    PRNS: "Shane's Karma"


    January 1996 - spring 1996
    Zordon's Power Rangers continue to defend the Earth from Rita and Zedd (see 1995). During this time, Zordon and Alpha prepare Metallic Armor upgrades to the Rangers' suits, as well as the secret underground Power Chamber (see below).
    Kimberly eventually passes the Pan Global gymnastics trials (see 1995) and gives her powers to Kat as she moves to Florida for training. There, she will begin dating someone other than Tommy (see 1994) and presumably competes in the summer 1996 Pan Global Games.
    Rita's father Master Vile arrives seeking the Zeo Crystal (see ??,000 BCE). Alerted by Ninjor (see 1995), the Rangers retrieve the Zeo Crystal and Falconzord (see 1995) from the moon.
    After defeating Vile's Globbor monster, the Rangers split the Zeo Crystal into five fragments and cast them into a time hole (see below) to hide them from Vile.
    MMPR-3: "A Different Shade of Pink part 3" (Kimberly leaves)
    MMPR-3: "A Chimp in Charge" (school year ends)
    MMPR-3: "Master Vile and the Metallic Armor" (Vile, Metallic Armor, Zeo Crystal, Globbor, End of the World Party, Zeo Crystal scattered)
    PRZ: "A Zeo Beginning part 2" (Power Chamber)
    PRZ: "There's No Business Like Snow Business part 1" (Kimbery's other man)
    PRT: "Shift into Turbo part 2" (junior year inferred for class of 1997)

    1996
    KO-35 (see 1985-88) is assaulted by Dark Specter's forces, which largely consist of Piranhatrons (see 1997). Having previously become Space Rangers, Red Ranger Andros (see 1985-88) and Silver Ranger Zhane (see 1978-80) battle in futility as the planet is ultimately abandoned. The survivors will take shelter on the desert planet Centaur B, calling themselves the "Rebels" (see 1998).
    Zhane, meanwhile, is mortally wounded in battle. Andros retreats with Zhane's body in cryogenic suspension aboard the Astro Megaship (see 1998).
    PRIS: "Survival of the Silver"

    early summer 1996 (before Zeo Crystal reassembly)
    On Kat's seventeenth or eighteenth birthday, Master Vile's Orb of Doom transforms the Earth and its inhabitants into a form resembling 1989-90. The teens become powerless children again (also see 1995), and Ninjor once again resides in his temple, not having met the Rangers. The Power Coins allow Alpha, Zordon, and the Ranger kids to remember the future.
    The Aquitian Rangers (see 400-995 CE) defend the Earth using their Battle Borgs and the Rangers' Shogunzords. Furious, Master Vile returns to the M51 galaxy.
    Immediately after Billy restores his own age with an invention powered by the Power Coins, Rita and Zedd destroy the coins.
    In time, the Aquitian Rangers grow unhealthy and make repeated visits to Aquitar for rehydration. Meanwhile, the child Rangers seek the scattered Zeo Subcrystals from various countries and times (see 1940-49, 1900-90, 1950-90, and 1989-90). On his quest, Tommy also receives half of an ancient arrowhead (see ?,000 BCE).
    Summoned by Rita and Zedd, the Aquitian Rangers' arch-nemesis Hydro Hog causes a worldwide drought but falls to the Shogunzords. During this time, Rito and Goldar prepare an implosion device in the Command Center's basement.
    The Zeo Crystal is completed as young Tanya Sloan arrives from 1989-90's Kenya, while Aisha remains in the past.
    The crystal restores Earth to its present form and transforms Tanya into a teenager as well (although her memories of the years since 1989-90 remain a mystery). Events from the previous period are apparently undone, with perhaps an alternate several weeks in their place (see immediate right panel).
    MMPR-3: "Rangers in Reverse" (Orb of Doom)
    MMAR: "Alien Rangers of Aquitar" (memories retained, Aquitian Rangers, Vile's departure)
    MMAR: "Alien Rangers of Aquitar part 2" / "The Alien Trap" / "Water You Thinking?" / "Along Came a Spider" / "Hogday Afternoon part 2" (Aquitians use Shogunzords)
    MMAR: "Climb Every Fountain" (elementary school, Power Coins destroyed)
    MMAR: "The Alien Trap" / "Attack of the 60' Bulk" / "Along Came a Spider" (Aquitians rehydrate on Aquitar)
    MMAR: "Water You Thinking?" / "Along Came a Spider" / "Sowing the Seas of Evil" / "Hogday Afternoon" (Zeo quests)
    MMAR: "Hogday Afternoon" (Hydro Hog, Tanya, Falconzord, Rito and Goldar, crystal reassembly)

    early summer 1996 (after Zeo Crystal reassembly)
    Earth experiences several weeks with no monster or Ranger sightings.
    The populace begins to panic when the Machine Empire (see 400-995 CE) is seen approaching.
    PRZ: "It's Coming" serial

    mid summer 1996 - December 1996 (after Zeo Crystal reassembly)
    With time restored (see above), the Rangers and Tanya now possess the Zeo Crystal, but their Power Coins have been destroyed (see above). Ninjor (see above) once again resides in the Temple of Power due to unknown circumstances, and the fate of the Ninjazords and Shogunzords is unknown.
    After the Aquitians return home, Rito and Goldar attempt to steal the Zeo Crystal, and the Command Center is destroyed (see above), perhaps also wiping out the Morphing Grid (but see 2003). During the evacuation, Billy absorbs "negative proton molecules" which will later prevent him from becoming the Gold Ranger (see 1997).
    The teens find the Zeo Crystal in the rubble, while the now amnesic Rito and Goldar are adopted by Bulk and Skull in Angel Grove (see 1997). As the Zeo Crystal rebuilds the Command Center exterior, Alpha and Zordon activate the Power Chamber (see above).
    The Machine Empire (see 400-995 CE) sends Rita and Zedd fleeing to the M51 galaxy in Serpentera (see 1994), and the Rangers use the Zeo Crystal to become Zeo Rangers, armed with new weapons and Zords. Billy becomes the team's technical advisor.
    The Ranger teens begin their senior year at Angel Grove High. Billy soon graduates early and journeys to Aquitar, where he peacefully resolves a conflict with aliens known as Hydro Contaminators. He also meets his future love Cestria (see 1997) before returning home.
    Kat reveals her feelings for Tommy (see 1997) shortly after he receives a break-up letter from Kimberly (see above).
    Tommy masters the telepathic Red Battlezord and finds his brother David Trueheart (see 1989-90). Their ancient arrowhead (see 1989-90) is briefly reassembled, and the Autochthon monster (see ?,000 BCE) is awakened from an ancient cave.
    Although courted by music producers, Tanya decides to finish the school year with her friends, planning to revisit her music career after graduation (see 1997).
    MMAR: "Hogday Afternoon part 2" (Aquitians return home, Zeo Crystal stolen, Command Center destroyed)
    PRZ: "A Zeo Beginning" (Power Chamber, Machine Empire, Rito and Goldar adopted, Zeo Rangers, Ninjor)
    PRZ: "The Shooting Star" (school begins)
    PRZ: "Graduation Blues" (Billy goes to Aquitar)
    PRZ: "Mean Screen" / "Mr. Billy's Wild Ride" (conflict resolved, Billy returns home)
    PRZ: "There's No Business Like Snow Business" (Kimberly's letter, Kat's feelings)
    PRZ: "Inner Spirit" (Red Battlezord)
    PRZ: "Inner Spirit" / "Challenges" (Tommy meets David)
    PRZ: "Challenges" (arrowhead reassembled)
    PRZ: "Brother, Can You Spare an Arrowhead?" (arrowhead split again)
    PRZ: "Song Sung Yellow" / PRT: "Cars Attacks" (Tanya's singing career)
    PRZ: "Revelations of Gold" (negative proton molecules)
    PRZ: "Rangers of Two Worlds part 2" (Cestria)
    PRT: "Shift into Turbo part 2" (senior year)
    Rogue Squadron-19 Golds, Battle For Naboo-18 Platinums, Rogue Leader-15 Golds/15 Aces, Rebel Strike-19 Single Golds/19 Single Aces
    James Boba Fettfield & Lord Malakite's Video Game Collection

  3. #273
    Have you been posting this PR stuff all day, LM?
    "You know I love the guy but I swear he writes like freaking Yoda."-Dean Winchester
    R12:2-Be Transformed

  4. #274
    Quote Originally Posted by JetsAndHeels View Post
    Have you been posting this PR stuff all day, LM?
    For the most part. I figure best case scenario: I'll scare/torture everyone away so that I win by default. Worst case scenario: I lose, but I go away comforted by the fact that whoever did win is now mentally/emotionally scarred for the rest of their days.

    When it comes to free prizes Malakite plays hardball.
    Rogue Squadron-19 Golds, Battle For Naboo-18 Platinums, Rogue Leader-15 Golds/15 Aces, Rebel Strike-19 Single Golds/19 Single Aces
    James Boba Fettfield & Lord Malakite's Video Game Collection

  5. #275
    Whoever posts in this thread next is a certified nincompoop

    (I wouldn't want to be a nincompoop, would you?)
    "The dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see, the future is. But this I am sure of - do their duty the Jedi will." --Yoda from Attack of the Clones.

  6. #276
    F it. I'm a nincompoop.
    "You know I love the guy but I swear he writes like freaking Yoda."-Dean Winchester
    R12:2-Be Transformed

  7. #277
    I've been called worse.
    Rogue Squadron-19 Golds, Battle For Naboo-18 Platinums, Rogue Leader-15 Golds/15 Aces, Rebel Strike-19 Single Golds/19 Single Aces
    James Boba Fettfield & Lord Malakite's Video Game Collection

  8. #278
    BigB, can you post somemore of those demotivational posters? The ones you did earlier were great.
    "You know I love the guy but I swear he writes like freaking Yoda."-Dean Winchester
    R12:2-Be Transformed

  9. #279
    Vince Offer
    From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


    Vince Offer is a writer, director, comedian, and now spokesperson best known for appearing as a television pitchman for ShamWow! absorbent towels, and the SlapChop food chopper ads.


    * 1 Underground Comedy Movie
    * 2 ShamWow! commercial
    * 3 SlapChop commercial


    Underground Comedy Movie



    In 1999 Offer released the Underground Comedy Movie to scathing reviews. Lawrence Van Gelder of the New York Times described the movie as "a series of sketches built around subjects like masturbation, defecation, alienation, urination, necrophilia, voyeurism, casual brutality and mockery of the unfortunate." He added that Offer "makes the common mistake of equating the recognition of comic potential for comedy itself. For the successful, talent bridges the gap, but here it is absent." DVDs of the film were marketed via television infomercial.

    The film also generated several lawsuits. Offer filed a copyright-infringement suit against Peter and Bobby Farrelly and Twentieth Century Fox, claiming that 14 scenes in There's Something About Mary were taken from his own film. The Farrelly brothers responded, "We've never heard of him, we've never heard of his movie, and it's all a bunch of baloney." In addition, Offer sued Anna Nicole Smith for breach of contract, alleging that Smith had agreed to appear in Underground Comedy Movie but backed out, claiming it would hurt her career.

    In 2004, Offer, an ex-Scientologist, sued the Church of Scientology, alleging it had declared him a criminal and had urged its members to "write false and malicious reports against him." Offer claimed that the church's action against him caused him to lose a successful business, as many of his employees were Scientologists who quit upon learning of the church's actions. His attorney was Ford Greene.

    ShamWow! commercial

    Offer, who appeared on infomercials for his movie, is featured as a spokesman in a commercial for ShamWow! absorbent towels that began airing in the spring of 2008. Offer's work on the ad received some comment in the media. Slate.com's Seth Stevenson praised Offer for his "impressive and subtle mastery of the pitchman's art" and wondered if Offer's "abrasive manner might also mark a unique, new strategy in the annals of pitchdom." Stevenson compared Offer to earlier, "more upbeat" television pitchmen like Billy Mays and the Home Shopping Network hosts and concluded that Offer's "smooth-talking condescension" was more suited to the present zeitgeist than the "earnest fervor" of spokesmen like Mays and Ron Popeil.

    SlapChop commercial

    In December of 2008, Offer, who had previously sold kitchen utensils at swap meets, appeared in another infomercial originating on the internet for the kitchen utensil SlapChop. This commercial is famous for Vince's quote "You're gonna love my nuts!"
    It's a blacked-out blur but I'm pretty sure it ruled.

  10. #280
    That slapchop commercial is a funny one!!
    "You know I love the guy but I swear he writes like freaking Yoda."-Dean Winchester
    R12:2-Be Transformed

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