I finally slept for 8 hours - which I hadn't been able to even approach accomplishing for nearly a month now. But I had this terrible nightmare!
I was still living in my boyhood home near Laguna Beach, California and I was out in front of a neighbor's house visiting, when I saw a large tractor-trailer truck drive down my street with the Hasbro logo on the side and none other than Billy Mays behind the wheel!
Then I remembered that I'd read on the internet that Hasbro was recalling every 12" Star Wars figure that the company had ever sold! I screamed "Noooooooo!" and took off chasing Billy Mays on my Schwinn dirt bike, pedalling as fast as I could. When I approached my house, my mom and dad were home, back in our old house, like I remembered how things once had been. They said they were sorry, but they had to let Billy Mays in as he promised to clean the rugs. But my 12" Star Wars figures were all gone - and for whatever reason, I had SideShow figures then too, and they were also gone along with the considerable expense they'd cost me. I was furious.
I got back on my dirt bike and continued to try and persue Billy Mays' big rig. It had a bumper sticker that said "Hasbro's not clean unless it's Oxy-Cleaned!" I was so glad I'd grabbed my Easton alluminum baseball bat when I was home. If I caught up with Billy Mays I planned to bash his head in and that would finally make the stain he couldn't rub out!
I had to stop by my best friend's house on my way. He wasn't home but I warned his mother not to let Billy Mays in the house. If my buddy kept his 12" Star Wars figures, he might wind up with the rarest, most unique example of Star Wars collectibles remaining in existence. His mom seemed to grasp the urgency.
Then I got back on my dirt bike and took off in hot pursuit of Billy Mays again. I rode my bike onto the California state freeway and luckily for me it was rush hour and a big truck couldn't move anywhere. But Billy Mays saw me coming in his sideview mirror and he pulled off on an exit ramp, but he couldn't move the truck fast enough.
On my first pass by, I smashed his sideview mirror off with my baseball bat and struck the truck cab door hard! No one takes away my Star Wars toys and gets away with it! Right then and there I could see it in his eyes: he wanted to put Oxy-Clean on my Darth Vader's cape and turn it white, erasing the stains of the Dark Side! But that's how Darth Vader is supposed to be.
I wasn't going to bother trying to explain it to Billy Mays. On my next pass on my dirt bike, I was going to break that door to the truck cab wide open, and then I'd have him!
Just then I woke up.
Sucks, because it was a great dream to turn all homicidal over 12" Star Wars figures and Oxy-Clean. I know different things set different people off - but this one had to be a first!