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  1. #11
    Anything in it that would be too objectionable to a 6-year-old fangirl? (I'm cool with a moderate level of violence, so long as there's not an overabundance of gore. Otherwise, there'd be nothing to watch except Sesame Street.)
    Tommy, close your eyes.

  2. #12
    Chux, there was killing in it and I'm not sure what her tolerance level to that is. There was no gore at all.

  3. #13
    Cool, that's sort of what I figured. She's seen Star Wars, Renegades, The Transformers: The Movie, and enough Disney cartoons to be okay with a moderate level of it. I understand it doesn't show Scarlett's corpse or anything, so she'll assume Scarlett's just somewhere else and be cool with Lady Jaye instead.
    Tommy, close your eyes.

  4. #14
    Correction, there was minor gore when a character was burned pretty badly, a few bullet wounds drew blood, and some charred bodies in the background of one scene, but pretty tame stuff otherwise. Unless she minds a major city being destroyed, but you don't see people, just buildings.

    Anyway, great to bring team SSG to the theater, Maradona got a lot of attention for his fashion choices. Thanks for the refreshments, next one's on me... offer only good to Maradona.

    I have plenty to say but have just gotten a phone call, so I'll leave you with my list:

    SPOILERS...

    ...

    ..

    .


    Things that were good:
    - real HISS tanks!
    - real Water Moccasins!
    - real Cobra Commander outfit!
    - a few other cool GI Joe-type vehicles, way better than ROC's garbage.
    - no lips or rubber muscle suit on Snake Eyes.
    - no stupid bouncing around the world in acceleration suits.
    - The Rock is likeable on the screen, even if it's a little much.
    - Storm Shadow is compelling and less silly in how they handle him without making him overly serious.
    - uses its locations wisely, making honest set pieces rather than generic James Bond ripoff crap like ROC was.
    - at least part of Cobra's big plan actually felt fresh and interesting, and even executed well.
    - Zartan as the imitation President was done pretty well, got to chew scenery and be fun and over the top.

    Things that could have been better:
    - HISS tanks only raise their turrets and then get their asses kicked by a pair of tiny rockets.
    - movie ends with a fistfight obviously because The Rock is the star, anticlimactic.
    - Snake Eyes big ninja material.
    - Firefly is here, not exactly in character and his gimmick is dumb with little exploding robot fireflies, but he's still somewhat kewl.
    - still killing people left and right rather than red & blue lasers.
    - Jinx gets an outfit based on her Sigma Six look, that's a weird callout.
    - Snake's outfit is a bit bulky, his helmet is pretty big and his shoulder armor is a lot of bulk for a character that's supposed to be a martial artist.
    - there are a lot of silly little plot gimmicks.
    - Duke is actually likeable, but not in the movie much.
    - Jon Chu got the most out of a clearly limited budget, but it's clear he could have done a lot more with a better budget and less studio and previous film bull****.
    - acting in general could have been better.
    - final solution to the film is a button press moment at the last second.
    - kinda stupid fare.
    - super prison warden played by Justified's Walter Goggins channeling his inner Sam Rockwell, but some bits were ok so mixed rather than bad.
    - nameless characters played by recognizable actors getting too little to do.
    - story aims to do more than a single film should really try to do.

    Things that sucked:
    - RZA as Blind Master. I know he had love for the material, but almost anybody would have done better.
    - post-processed 3D suuuuuucked, even with laser projection.
    - "hooah!" instead of "Yo Joe!", and nothing instead of "COOOOOOBRAAAAAA!"
    - not enough Joes or Cobras.
    - Bruce Willis seems unhappy to be here and gives a piddling performance, horribly miscast, and his character is a ridiculous Deus Ex Machina.
    - The President's chief of staff wears Baroness' glasses (from the original, not ROC) thus reminding us of what we don't have.
    - Cobra's plan seems to be to destroy the majority of the planet, first they kill 1 hostage city then they decide to just **** 'em all.
    - Cobra Commander didn't do all that much.
    - General Joe brings in a crowd of new guys that are geezers and have no names or personalities and fill the background without doing anything.
    - the public seemingly knowing about GI Joe before Cobra's reveal.
    - leaving out Baroness when she was such a major part of the first film was a mistake, should have been recast instead.

    I gave the film a 6.5/10, it's the kind of movie to see with friends and then have fun bagging on while also enjoying the cartoony stuff what works.
    Darth Vader is becoming the Mickey Mouse of Star Wars.

    "We named the dog 'Chewbacca'!"
    The use of a lightsaber does not make one a Jedi, it is the ability to not use it.

  5. #15
    Okay, I must ask: What was Maradona's "fashion choices"? Not going to read the rest of your post, though, even though I have a feeling I've pieced together most of the movie already from clips and minor spoilers.

    Edit: I take that partly back. They had to leave out Baroness. The way that first POS ended, there wasn't really much of a way to bring her back as a Cobra. Plus, it looks like they want to distance themselves from it as much as possible, leaving only the four "huge" guys (CC, SE, SS, and Duke) in it, as well as Zartan, because he's integral to what the plan obviously is (at least at first).
    Tommy, close your eyes.

  6. #16
    I was dressed as Old Snake, from the Transformers episode "Only Human."








    Actually, I wore an old black hooded sweatshirt with a red Cobra insignia. I was hoping to here it yelled, but alas it was not. When I got home, I felt compelled to watch the episode just for the ending scene where he says "They simply don't make terrorists like they used to..."

  7. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by Maradona View Post
    When I got home, I felt compelled to watch the episode just for the ending scene where he says "They simply don't make terrorists like they used to..."
    That may be the only Season 3 episode of Transformers that didn't suck, just because it was the only true crossover. (I'm not counting stuff like Marissa Fairborne and other things that imply a shared universe.)
    Tommy, close your eyes.

  8. #18
    Okay, color me impressed that, after five absolutely wretched attempts, Hasbro finally has an action movie to their credit that doesn't suck. Heck, it's actually pretty good!

    The ninja battle was, holy crap, I just need to sit down. Getting light-headed just thinking about how awesome it was.

    A bit surprising, but I'm glad there were practically no Easter eggs. With this clearly being a house-cleaning to set up a third, proper Joe movie, anyone who was name-dropped early on would be toast. (I saw the names Grunt and Clutch in the credits, but didn't actually hear them spoken.) I was a bit surprised to see Zartan and Destro offed. Clearly, the house is being cleaned thoroughly.

    Firefly, damn, when he first walked into the prison in his balaclava, I thought I was going to pee myself. That WAS Firefly. I don't care how they changed details about the character. That was the crazy mofo who might just be the single most dangerous Cobra operative.

    In short, definitely worth seeing. I wouldn't mind seeing it again. Not perfect, but quite enjoyable.

    Quote Originally Posted by Maradona View Post
    *Flint was a warrant officer, not a sergeant. If I recall the Joe chain of command from the cartoon, it went Hawk, Duke, Flint, Beachhead. The comic had a few other generals giving orders in the first part of the run. Roadblock was not number two.
    Given how they screwed over the characters from the first movie, fiddling with rank didn't bug me much. Also, Jaye's first name was Alison, not Jaye.
    *Firefly was always so concerned with anyone seeing his face and now seems to love removing his mask. The same can be said for Storm Shadow. FF and SS acted as though they were written by Sam Hamm (for those that get the reference).
    Storm Shadow, once his face was shown, was seen unmasked quite a bit in the comic. Firefly remained a mystery but was finally unmasked exactly once. For the sake of realism (movie realism, at least), I didn't mind him not wearing a mask when not in the field.
    *The Rock physically dwarfs everyone around him and, as such, him having difficulty in fighting Ray Stevenson was not very believable.
    Firefly's certifiably insane. It's the same reason the Joker, a guy who's 80 pounds when wet, is a credible physical threat to an Olympic-class athlete like Batman.
    Quote Originally Posted by JediTricks View Post
    - real HISS tanks!
    In. Deed. And you could spot the geeks in the audience at my theater--we were the ones who cheered or said "YES!" or something to that effect when the Cobra technician called them by the "High-Speed Sentry" designation.
    - real Water Moccasins!
    In. Deed. Again. Firefly also tried to escape on the old Night Landing (explaining why it's getting an update in the Retaliation toyline).
    - real Cobra Commander outfit!
    Yes, and an actual reason for the switch, rather than glossing over it. That was a nice, unexpected touch.
    - Storm Shadow is compelling and less silly in how they handle him without making him overly serious.
    He was much less just a ninja in a snow suit this time, huh?
    - Zartan as the imitation President was done pretty well, got to chew scenery and be fun and over the top.
    Agreed. The implication of him as the Hard Master's killer was a tad forced, but I appreciate the nod to the comic and Resolute.
    - Firefly is here, not exactly in character and his gimmick is dumb with little exploding robot fireflies, but he's still somewhat kewl.
    The gimmick didn't bother me much. It felt like something that could've been in the cartoon, and it explained why a Cobra operative would have a name like "Firefly" (since he's not an independent operative here).
    - Jinx gets an outfit based on her Sigma Six look, that's a weird callout.
    True, but Mouse is also a Sigma Six character. (Granted, using an S6 character was probably so they didn't waste an actual ARAH character as cannon fodder.) Also, they probably figured the solid red would be confused with the Red Ninjas, and the black (from the Devil's Due comic) would've been confused with Snake Eyes.
    - Snake's outfit is a bit bulky, his helmet is pretty big and his shoulder armor is a lot of bulk for a character that's supposed to be a martial artist.
    He looked more commando than ninja to me. I didn't mind it.
    - Duke is actually likeable, but not in the movie much.
    I'm quite surprised they left him dead, since he was likable. Kinda waiting for the inevitable YouTube mashup with that last scene of the Joes (minus Jaye and Colton) with Doc's voice over from the original movie.
    - acting in general could have been better.
    Compared to the first (aside from Zartan, Cobra Commander, and Destro), this was Academy Award caliber work here.
    - final solution to the film is a button press moment at the last second.
    I was sorta disappointed by that, but, then again, it's kind of the huge action movie cliche that Hollywood thinks we expect.
    - story aims to do more than a single film should really try to do.
    But if it bombs too badly, there'd be no finale.
    - RZA as Blind Master. I know he had love for the material, but almost anybody would have done better.
    I didn't think he was as bad as I'd heard people say, but, still, that was a weird choice, and he certainly wasn't good.
    - Bruce Willis seems unhappy to be here and gives a piddling performance, horribly miscast, and his character is a ridiculous Deus Ex Machina.
    He's Bruce Willis! How can you complain? Way better than Denis Quaid (who I was a bit miffed to not see addressed--shouldn't Roadblock go to him first, since I doubt he was serving in the field under Duke).
    - The President's chief of staff wears Baroness' glasses (from the original, not ROC) thus reminding us of what we don't have.
    Again, do you really want Baroness, if it means she's a blonde moron who's Duke's girlfriend?
    - General Joe brings in a crowd of new guys that are geezers and have no names or personalities and fill the background without doing anything.
    Kinda bugged me, too (and I REALLY wanted one of them to be Sergeant Slaughter; that would've been way too cool). I'm wondering now if two of them were Clutch and Grunt?

    Also, did my eyes deceive me, or, during the "story thus far" bit at the beginning, did I catch a glimpse of an old-school Cobra Trooper?
    Tommy, close your eyes.

  9. #19

  10. #20
    I supposed that Brenda was General Joe Colton's daughter. Was I correct? That made a compelling human story to this that I took in while I was watching the film
    BAD Pts Need: R5-C7 lf leg (x2), , R4-P44 right leg BAD Pts Offered For Trade: PM me - I have lots of parts now including BG-J38!. New Kyle Katarn is also available.

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