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  1. #1

    Porkins gets no respect, I tell ya!

    I recently unearthed my Star Wars comic collection (all 125 issuees and three annuals from Marvel) and will now set about the daunting task of rereading the entire lot. Anyway, we all know that Jek Porkins fills out the old orange flight suit quite a bit more than most X-Wing pilots. And of course he got quick fried to a crispy crunch. And it took over 20 years to get an action figure made. And he went on to play the obnoxious Lt. Eckhart in Batman. But the biggest insult? His death in the Marvel Comics adaptation (Star Wars #1-6) of A New Hope.

    There is little real difference at firts. He's there at the Death Star run, he gets blowed up real good. But here's the rub. If memory serves it is Biggs who is depicted with a thought bubble as he flys by in his X-Wing following Porkins' demise, thinking, "You'll be avenged, fatty."

    What was that all about?! Are we meant to feel better about Biggs' impending demise because of that underhanded declaration of vindication?


  2. #2

    Re: Porkins gets no respect, I tell ya!

    Originally posted by JediCole
    If memory serves it is Biggs who is depicted with a thought bubble as he flys by in his X-Wing following Porkins' demise, thinking, "You'll be avenged, fatty."
    Jeez! I think Jar Jar said it best: "How wude!" It almost makes you wanna cheer when Pretty Boy gets blown to bits a few minutes later. (Seriously, I know Biggs is supposed to be a nice guy, but doesn't he look like the sort of pretty boy jerk you want to punch if he comes within a mile of your sister?)
    That's my jacket!

  3. #3
    "You'll be avenged, fatty.."!!!!??? LOL! What the heck?
    Is that for real? I mean thats just wrong...and yet I can't help but laugh.

    Biggs always seemed to have a darker side to him...I mean look at how he influenced Luke. Luke probably was a grade A student at Tatooine high. As soon as he met Bad A** Biggs, life went downhill for the little moisture farmer.

    Uncle Owen: "Luke I need you to clean the droids!"

    Luke: "You don't own me old man!" (speeds off in his speeder)

    Beru: "*sobs* whats become of our Luke?"

    Owen and Beru spent the rest of the night sobbing and wondering where they went wrong...
    "Two in the box, ready to go, we be fast, and they be slow!"
    Check out my art at The Terrace Room!

  4. #4
    Wow! Thanks for dredging up that "fatty" reference there Cole! I remember reading that as a kid and thinking... "Jeez! That's REAL nice of you Biggs!"

    We ALL know why he said that... Biggs was kinda feeling inadequate seeing ol' Jek in the ready room showers. Jek was sporting himself a big ol' Force Pike and Biggs barely had himself a Gimer Stick.

    It's all in your Galactic Psychology 101 books.
    OK... I BLOG. YOU READ. at
    **Steven Sterlekar (1969-2001)**

  5. #5
    Registered GNT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Australia - Home of the pegwarmers :(

    Re: Porkins gets no respect, I tell ya!

    Originally posted by JediCole
    "You'll be avenged, fatty."
    I now have more respect for Jek Porkins after reading that,Biggs I hate even more now...
    You fool, my reach is far greater than the Jedi.Only a Sith can wield the force over such a great distance.'' - Darth Sidious

  6. #6
    No no, you guys don't understand, this was a scene filmed, but later cut due to time constraints! I have the dialogue right here:

    Porkins' X-wing crashes into the surface of the Death Star, erupting into a mighty fireball. All is eerily quiet over the radio until...

    BIGGS: You'll be avenged, fatty.

    The pilots all begin chuckling.

    LUKE: Haw haw, good one Biggs, that was a good one! It's funny 'cause he was fat, right Biggs?

    WEDGE: Hope you're up there in fat-man's heaven, at a big buffet eating everything in site and never getting full.

    RED LEADER: Hee hee! I think I just saw one of his sandwiches floating by.

    TIREE: Goodbye, ya tubby schmoe!

    GOLD LEADER: I told you Dutch! I told you that hutt-in-a-flightsuit wouldn't do Red Squadron any good; that's five credits you owe me, and don't think when we get back to Yavin base you'll get out of paying up on the bet!

    RED FOUR (JOHN D): Ah ha ha! So I guess all those pizzas he killed are now avenged!

    The rebel pilots continue to laugh at Porkins' death. Red Four even goes so far as to make a crude drawing of Porkins exploding on his helmet. The battle then continues.

    As you can see, this is the real reason why Lucas cut all of John D's scenes out, since that Porkins drawing on the helmet would have made no sense in his scenes after this. Marvel had already drawn the comic panels for this sequence when Lucas cut this scene, so Marvel removed most of the panels and changed Biggs' word bubble to a thought bubble.

    Hee hee, ok maybe not, but that is one cold piece of writing by Marvel! What is it with Lucas anyway, did he just hate fat people or something? I mean, he calls him "Porkins" then gives him the first - and dopiest - death of all the pilots; he shoulda just named him "Fatty Fat Fatterson", gave him a couple of sandwiches and burgers in his cockpit, and gotten it all out of his system at once.
    Darth Vader is becoming the Mickey Mouse of Star Wars.

    Kylo Ren - came from Space Brooklyn, although he moved to Space Williamsburg before it was trendy.

    The use of a lightsaber does not make one a Jedi, it is the ability to not use it.

  7. #7
    I think Porkins WAS avenged! Look at Uncle George and Aunt Rick! Hardee Har Har!

    p.s.- I have no issue with large folks... seriously.
    OK... I BLOG. YOU READ. at
    **Steven Sterlekar (1969-2001)**

  8. #8
    Actually, Marvel misspelled it. Biggs actually said "Phatty," which is quite different.
    That's my jacket!

  9. #9
    Registered Fulit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Little Rock, AR
    With that moustache, Biggs reminds me of the redneck with the trick truck that hung out in front of the 7-11 and beat the crap out of us when we were kids. I could totally see this guy sporting a mullet if he lived here on Earth. If you've ever seen "Dazed and Confused", he would be one of the guys with the paddles waiting for freshmen to exit the building after school.

  10. #10
    That is actually pretty funny, you will be avenged fatty.
    "It can't rain all the time."

    "Quote the Raven, Nevermore."


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